Guys, you need to learn this, CFM shoes. When your girl tells you she's wearing her CFM shoes she means " I want you to desire me ONLY in this pair of shoes, nothing else". Yea, its the Come Fu*k Me shoes that is the only article on the body that doesn't come off when the two of you embark into ecstasy.
So how exactly does CFM shoes look like. Well, its gotta be stilletoes , 2 and half or 3 inches, depending on whether the wearer is able to strut properly in it. Super high heels elongates the legs and long legs are sexy especially in a teeny tiny dress. Then of course, there are little details that makes it a CFM sandals instead of a mere high heel sandals is the chain detail. Chains are somehow linked to SM (Sado Ma@@$@#$# crap) which would make any high heel a real CFM shoe. Super strappy sandals are also very CFM. Check out the shoe below and the first thing that comes to your mind .... SM! Shoes like these are not meant to be removed easily and the girl is supposed to keep it on the entire time!
For the girls, only wear CFM shoes when you are out with your guy or someone you plan to flirt with. Shoes like these can sure get you into trouble especially when paired with a dress or teeny tiny skirts. Unless you are planning to get laid on your night out, wear the CFM shoes with extreme discretion!
Some slang are not meant to be used at a certain age. I was having some drinks with a bunch of mature women one day. Conversation was normal and as usual I just kept my opinions to myself and listen with an open ear. Well, ears are open but certain information are not transmitted to my brains.
All of a sudden, somoene suggested going down to Ipoh for a glutton day trip. Everybody got excited over the suggestion and agreed to it except for me because I wasn't exactly paying attention to the conversation. Out of nowhere, the leader of the pack asked me, "So, are you game for it??". I was baffled and just stared at her for a second or two. She misinterpreted the expression on my face for incomprehension of the slang game and repeated herself , " Yea, game for it, you know, you on for it?".
I mean, I understand the slang "game" which simply means "on for it" in nigger talk. I myself do not use these street slangs in my daily conversation. So of course it baffles me when someone uses it, especially when it is coming out from an auntie's mouth??!! Imagine an auntie going, " F'Shizzle M'Nizzle, I am game for anything!".
I am lost for words again after watching this video. Brought to you by the same guy who did the Indian thriller and whom came out with phrases such as PUmping Ovaltine, Gosh my calculator ain't got no bow. This time watch out for ridiculous phrases like these. I'd Love to see you pee on us tonight I put papaya there, you love me inside there I love you inside me
Ok enough of spoilers.
Totally hilarious and witty. I don't know how the guy does it but he just has a good ear for foreign languages.
Mawi is everywhere and he is getting on my nerves. Who is he? Yea sure he won some singing talent contest but I seriously haven't heard him singing before. Does he do the boyband songs well, or the falsetto? I mean, Mawi sings??!!! He can sing??
Well, unfortunately the masses dig guys who look like him. That is why companies are using him in their ads practically everywhere. The fact that he endorses a certain product makes me avoid that product at all costs. For example the M.Mobile. As it is, it is a Malaysian made mobile which costs probably just as much as an imported mobile. Who the heck would use it? And all the better, they get Mawi to endorse it, bummer! So not convinced to buy a stupid phone called M.Mobile. Its just not cool and reliable.
And then Mamee saw the 'bad' trend and got Mawi to endorse for them as well. What's worst, they printed his face on every freaking instant noodle cup. I like Mamee instant noodles, especially the tom yam flavor. Its just fantastic. However, after I saw this ad and this face on every cup, I swear I am avoiding Mamee until someone new endorses it.
EEwwwwww
As if his image on the instant noodle cup is not enough to spoil my appetite, he even came up with his own brand of mineral water!
If this doesn't annoy you, you are better off pursuing a career in Rempit-ing.
So I guess, Mawi is really hot huh. He thinks he has endorsed every product there is and raking in cash like nobody's business. I have a good idea for him to expand his market segment. Since he is in the business of endorsements, why not endorse our favorite foods! Nothing else is tastier than a good pot of Klang Bak Kut Teh. I think this will be a good start for him to penetrate the Chinese cuisine market.
Bagus Teh! Memang Bagus, memang lazat! Mawi suka makan.
Then there is the mouth watering Char Siew , when done properly, it will melt in your mouth like cotton candy.
Char Siew yang terBest! Amat lazat di dalam mulut Mawi.
The day Mawi endorses Bak Kut Teh will be the day a Chinese will take over the Prime Minister administration.
You know how contagious some people's laughter can get? I mean like the joke is not funny but the laugh is so funny you can laugh non stop for a good 10 minutes and get defined abs after that and probably urinate in your pants? Watch this and you'll understand why the title is as such.
As previously mentioned, I am totally in love with pedicure and manicure. Since I can't actually decorate other parts of my body ( cos I don't dare to attempt tattoo), I have resorted to nail art. Getting a manicure and pedicure is pampering! It feels like royalty when people actually bend down to wash your feet and start scraping dirt out of it. So, these are my latest nail art.
Lilac with some mod flower design
Butterfly design
Abstract leaf design
Merdeka is approaching I think I should do my patriotic duty to display the national flag somewhere. Hanging the flag off the car is too common and way too irritating. Can't stand it flapping on the car when I am speeding.
I guess the next most creative way is to show my patriotism on my nails in the form of nail art! Wearing the Malaysian flag has been done before. But wearing it on the nails is something I have yet see. Since this Independence day is a significant one, I shall do something significant as well.
MERDEKA on my feet. Merdeka my foot??!!!
The flag is getting too cliche actually. Since we love our country, we have to love our leaders that has brought this nation to what it is today right? I'm getting off this flag cliche and shall love my country leader. It is time to pay tribute to his high excellency.
Love thy leader! I can express my patriotism any way I choose to.
Since I am in the mood of spreading love, I think I should get the world leaders to love each other.
For World Peace! You guys should just learn to live next to each other without the guns and the nuclear bombs, okay?
You think doggy style gives better satisfaction than human style? Well, this doggy think otherwise. He thinks wanking is cool, what more in public. This doggy certainly has a wicked fetish.
Its 'thing' is a little too long for a small doggy.
Lately I have been obsessed with manicure and pedicure. I think its the nail art fascination that got me all crazy. Also I'm obsessed with cutting my cuticles and any hardened skin around the nail area. Basically nail grooming has become an obsession.
I believe its proper manners for women to have their nails groomed properly. If you don't groom it before painting it which most women does, the result is disastrous. I mean at least soften the cuticles and push it back will do. Or maybe scrub to remove the dirt in between nails would even do some good. Can you imagine dirt that have been stuck in between the toenails forever?? It will stink really bad. So guys, the next time you're thinking about really pleasuring your woman by sucking her toes, think twice. You might be licking the accumulated dirt in between the nails as well. Make sure your girl gets pedicure done weekly before you give her the sensual toe sucking.
So, back to my obsession with nail art. Some designs can be way over the top. Have a look at these.
Fruits on nails...looks like pieces of shit stuck on your nails. Sorta like colorful booger.
Definitely can't dig your nose with nails like these!
Mind blowing!
Also, I think that it is only proper to remove any unwanted hair on the toes, especially the mother toe. Look at this and you will know what I mean.
Shave off those atrocious hair! See what happens if you don't get a pedicure and wear summery sandals?? It is of cos, ATROCIOUS! So girls, if you do have the fine bits of hair growing from your toes, please remove it by all means. You don't want your man to suckle on your toesicle in that condition.
Be NAILICIOUS and go to your nearest mani pedi salon. Guys too must do the same.
Recently I came across a flyer of a new MAC store in Bangsar. It was the most hilarious tech marketing I have ever seen. This girl actually wrote an entire essay about the coolness. It is not how awesome a MAC is but just about the word cool.How do I know it was a girl who wrote this flyer? Cos she wrote the same exact thing for her dance studio. Check this out.
In case you can't read it, I shall type it out here.
Why haven't you still owned a MAC?
We loved our PC. It looked great on our family desk. We surfed the net. Chatted online with friends and listened to our favorite tunes.
- Ok, hold up. I've got something to say here. There is an abuse of full stops here. You can actually combine the ideas into one or two sentences. Ok, a PC doesn't look very great on the family desk FYI. Unless its a freaking LCD monitor, projector keyboard and the entire CPU submerged into some non-conducting liquid. Otherwise, PC never looked great especially on family desk??!!!! eeksss..I don't think I can even chat if its on the family desk.
But that was until we got a Mac. Owning a Mac is like owning a flashy sports car. But even better. It's built to last. It works like a dream. It's cool. But ten times more than cool.
- Hmm, yea Mac is a flashy sports car, but what is better than a flashy sports car?? A rocket? Mac is built to last? No way man. Every tech equipment has an EOL (end of life). Sorry to say, you have to keep updating, or else it won't be cool anymore. You see, she does not know how else to describe so she had to waste another sentence to say that it is ten times more than cool. Me no very understanding what is ten times more than cool. Does it mean it is Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious cool? OMG, it is soooo bimbo-ish. Again notice the abuse of full stops?? Who the heck talks like that!
If looks could kill. It would be a Mac.
- Again too many full stops or should I say overuse of period. She must have wrote it during her period. I do agree that MAC's designs are meant to be cool. Steve Jobs is very anal when it comes to designs.
We just printed our first photo book. We share songs with our eye catching ipods. And record our favorite tv shows. Even mom organizes her photos on our Mac. That PC, well...what PC? We never had one.
- errr.....*stress* So, a Mac is a photo kiosk? That's a frigging expensive one indeed. I don't frigging care about the shallow things you do with your Mac. I wanna know its capabilities!! features!! the edge it has over Windows!! What about all those cool interface that it is capable of? I bet she doesn't have any frigging idea what kinda OS it is running on. Maybe, she doesn't know what an OS is! And to end it, she made another bimbo statement about not owning a PC..ahhaha. It is excruciating to read what she is writing and how she is trying to say that Mac is cool. In conclusion Mac is cool, so you should go get yourself one cos it is cool. Why is it cool, I don't know but I know it is ten times more than cool.
Next time if your non techie gf offers to do a write up on a gadget for you, just say "Honey, I'll make love to you the entire night after I write it myself".
It is excruciating to read the entire flyer I tell you.
To many, thongs simply means the type of panties that gets stuck in between your butt crack. As uncomfortable it may sound, it is actually sexy.
Moving on, let me educate about the types of thong that I know that are currently available. Not all butt cutting panties are called thong. Basically there are 4 types:
1) Brazilian Cut
This may seem like a regular panty, however it cuts the butt still. Sexy in a way it provides more coverage compared to regular thong. So, it gives the guys an impression that it is a regular panty from the front but when flipped over, it is a partial thong revealing part of the ass. Some guys like the suspense of not revealing it all.
2) V String
V String has a little less coverage. As you can see, there is only a string supporting the entire panty. This means that it is meant to be worn under a very sheer figure hugging dress. Lesser coverage, less visible panty line, sexier! Gives the illusion that you are not wearing any panties at all under the dress! Fuyoh!
3) Thong
Now, this is called a thong. Slightly less support compared to the Brazilian but a bit more revealing. Suitable to be worn under a fitted pair of pants where you do not want any panty line. Also of course you must have a nice ass to show it off, else it will look too droopy and heavy without any support. Thongs don't give much support, so the ass has to support itself!
4) Pearl Thong
Lastly, the most interesting one. The Pearl Thong. Made famous by Samantha in Sex and the City. I have yet to see something like that in the Malaysian market. I guess women don't feel to comfortable wearing their pearl necklace at their bottom. This is not really a functional panty like the above 3, but I guess it is more of a tool, a seduction tool. Can you imagine some pearl beads rubbing against the bottom all day long. I think some women get a sense a high from that rubbing motion. I mean like who wanna get aroused from wearing a pearl thong while having a meal, that is if you wanna get laid on your first date.
I can't help but watching this video over and over again. The baby is utterly cute! Makes me feel like having one of my own who is just as cute and intelligent.
. It is quite common for Chinese to give themselves a 'corporate' name when they step into the corporate world. Its like back in high school, his friends know him as Chau Beng, but in the corporate world he is known as Sergei Tan. Every time when I hear names like these, I get blown away immediately. You know, it is like they generate wind when they walk and it can blow you away because Sergei Tan is walking towards you!
I mingle around IT people and they find the most high tech names to give it to themselves. Sometimes it just does not suit their personality at all. But I respect that because in a way its a marketing tool. Imagine that you introduce your husband called Elvis Lee to all your colleagues. 2 years down the road, your colleagues will still remember that he is called Elvis, who wouldn't.
Same goes to a programmer that I have come across by the name of Lucas. Woah, George Lucas. That is big, and you gotta be big enough to carry that sort of name. What about Linus Lau. Yea I met Linus at my office just the other day.
First thing that came to my mind, Linus Torvalds?? See, you gotta be somebody to carry the name Linus as well!
One day when I was rummaging through my name card holder, I came across this person called Bacon Ow! Imagine him going like this in Zouk:
Bacon: Hey, you look so hot dancing on the podium all night. Chick: Oh really, Thanks! The name's Sherilynn. How about you? Bacon: A beautiful name befits a beautiful person like you. My name is Bacon. Chick: Ohh..hehheeh....hi Baaacon. Anyway, nice to meet you Baaacon, i gotta go, my boyfriend is waiting for me. Bacon: *_*
As if the name card was not enough to keep me laughing all day. I came across another name card and it almost made me gasping for breath. His name was Black Lim.
Black: Hi I am Black Dude: Oh, then I'm White. LOL Black: No really I am Black. Dude: You blardy nigger wannabe. You are Chinese ok. That makes you Yellow. Black: But I am Black.....
These days, the city council has upped efforts on public toilets around town. Toilets like these can be seen in popular tourist spots in KL. This is an awfully good thing because public toilets to me are never a pleasant experience. Imagine stepping into an RM400k toilet. Feels like sitting on a toilet bowl made out of Swarovski crystal.
Images from hot-screensaver.com
Fuwahh..for RM1 a leak, it is worth it! Personally I haven't tried it before, because just down the road, Starhill Gallery has a tranquil toilet which is just as awesome and its FREE! So I would rather walk all the damn way there to take a leak. At least, doors in Starhill toilet will not open after 15 minutes, unlike the paid public toilet shown here. KL has the great toilets and best thing they are all dry and comfy. That is because the toilets are not equipped with a water hose to you- know- what.
Even the toilets in Midvalley are not equipped with the garden hose but somehow the floors seems a little wet. No, I am quite sure it is not misfired urine. Don't ask me how but you can tell the difference between urine and water. The only water source is from the toilet bowl itself. So could it be that some people actually bring in their own bottle of water to perform their rituals, OR (big possibility) they scoop the water out of the toilet bowl toWASH their intimate area?! I am not mean but my brother has seen someone doing the same thing in the Men's.
Yes, they are selling Tits in Bits! eewwwww. I just couldn't help but wondering that something is wrong with the signboard and finally realized it is spelt Tit-Bits instead of Tid-Bits. So, anyone up for Tits in bits with Kacang Putih?
Another one of my observation during the clubbing sessions. I was observing and trying to identify if a girl is flirting with a guy. Sadly, I am quite the 'kayu' and can never master the art of flirting or the art of seduction. One thing I learned, you don't need to be beautiful to be a seductress! Woo hoo. Now that is one good piece of motivation. Ok, I had got all my observations jotted down in my lil' black book.
How to Flirt ( For Girls):
- Maintain good eye contact because it shows confidence. Also smile with your eyes when flirting to show your interest in the guy. Only make seductive eyes later in the conversation or if the person is drunk.
- Compliment the guy on maybe his shirt, or sense of humor. Don't compliment on his stature yet, worst still, telling him that he has a big package.
- Keep your body language open and inviting. ie: through the conversation, touch the person's arms lightly when telling a story. Maintain good eye contact at all times but don't stare cos it is uncomfortable. Act shy once in a while by staring down and then looking back at him.
- Initiate stimulating conversation. Ask open-ended questions maybe about the flirtee's family, pet, job, hobbies.....etc. Do not ask about his sex life or whether he has or does not have foreskin intact.
- open up more about yourself to give him more reason to be interested in you. However, don't go on and on and dominate the conversation. The goal is to intrigue and not to bore.
- Always be alert at looking out for the flashing red light. If detected ( meaning he is uninterested) then make your exit gracefully.
- Pay attention to personal space. If you are successful at gently touching the arm of the flirtee, that means he has no issues with personal space and you have broken that barrier. Otherwise, watch out for the red flashing light that you have violated the person's personal space.
- Finally progress in your flirting if everything seems ok. Lead him into closing the deal be it a date , a dance , a kiss , or if there is *ehem* sexual connection then proceed with a proper rendezvous.
Flirting is supposed to be fun and healthy. Without you realizing it, you can be flirting sometimes just to get attention. Couples need to flirt with each other every now and then to maintain that romance and spark in their life. Singles flirt to prospect their future partner. Flirting is harmless fun, so just enjoy and do it responsibly. Yes, Drink responsibly and Flirt responsibly.
Do you realize that Indian people are so good at math and unhumanly equations that normal beings cannot comprehend? Yes, they are so fluent at engineering especially electrical engineering equations and computer science theories that baffles you. It is no wonder even their language is complicated. They are super humans indeed.
So, it is not surprising that almost 50% of the engineering faculty are made up of Indians in universities all around the world. They are so good with theories that it belittles you. It is no wonder students get frustrated and write the weirdest comments about the professors at the end of every semester. I was once a frustrated student and almost felt like shooting myself every time the professors starts rattling like an automatic M16.
This dude reminds me so much of my professor Govindarasu. A becomes 'yay', S becomes 'yes', and R becomes ' Arer'. Every time he speaks, we laugh at his accent. You gotta watch this video and it gets better towards the mid. I've been watching it over and over again for the entire day and still laugh like it was my first time.
These cheap looking bags were spotted at the Spring 07 Fashion show and it was one of the 'cool' items on the runway. A Louis Vuitton bag it is! All I can say, what was going through the designer's mind when he was deep down in meditation to get an inspiration for his design. Did the folks at LV fire him after that? He must have been to da Chinese hood.
I was thinking of trying my hands on bag designing as well. I think I might have the talent for designing. Here goes! Waa laa. Limited Edition Dior Whack Plastic Shopper Bag Watch out for it on the runways this Fall '07. It might just be a hit in the wet markets all over the country.
And so, I was sitting in front of my workstation totally immersed in my work when suddenly I felt a disgusting presence behind me. The sound of heavy breathing came together with the stench of garlic breath made me jumped out of my skin. It almost killed my olfactory senses instantly. Turning back slowly, I felt like I was going to face a half decomposed mummy. At least it wasn't so horrific, but what I saw was bad!
Well he's close to any of those Japanese creepies. Yes, extraneous nostril hairs! Guys, this is one thing you have to really take note besides the excessive facial hair which makes you look homeless. Nostril hairs are more often than not, ignored! Why can't you just include this into your daily beauty regime. Just like shaving, I think that guys should also snip off their extraneous nostril hair.
Can you imagine when this cute guy is about to kiss his date and suddenly she decides to open her eyes to peep on him and the first thing she saw was the excessive nostril hair so close to touching her nose! So the cute guy blew his chance in getting laid.
So please, the next time you stand in front of the mirror, just try tilting your head up a bit and you will realize the amount of hair in your nose could actually develop a new strain of virus. And yes, it is a bacteria rainforest in there.
Just do us girls a favor and pay more attention to the rainforest in your nose. It is worst when you have icicles stuck in between hairs during a very bad flu outbreak.
