Down In A Gulp

Down In A Gulp

Sunday, November 30, 2008

iPhone blog

Blogging using my iPhone is just way too cool

posted by DaphStar* @ 1:30 AM 7 comments

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Email Mockery

Yay...finally an update after aeons.... Gonna make this short as the print screens of the emails would speak for itself, pretty much.

Email correspondence with our "Catbert". Evil Human Resources Director

This was what Catbert sent out to everyone in the company

Basically entire email content is in the header.

I maximized my window to try to read the entire content but it got truncated. So I sent a reply to Catbert and CC-ed to the whole world.

Mail reads: " Dear Catbert, I can' read the entire content of the email in the header no matter how much I have tried to maximize my window.
Kindly copy and paste it into the body.

Thanks,

Daphne "

And this is what Catbert replied.

Reply came in the form of header basically saying "The message is in the header, dear".

Almost killed myself laughing. *faints*

Labels: work

posted by DaphStar* @ 9:18 AM 2 comments

Friday, January 11, 2008

The BJ Lips

Updated 12th January:
According to Madam Zorra in the Face Fortune column, the Lips are the most sensual feature on the face. It can send love messages in the most subtle and tantalising of ways. Do you know that when you are ovulating your lips grow redder and fuller? Lips send sexual signals. Nothing drives a man's temperature up like a woman running the tip of her tongue over her opened mouth.
I didn't know that lips grow redder and fuller when ovulating. I shall take note of my calendar and how my lips respond during that period of time. This is an interesting myth! I guess I shall start selling cayenne pepper infused lipstick.

Don't ask me why full, luscious, pouty lips are termed BJ lips. Girls with full lips are better kissers ? Perhaps its the wider area of contact that makes kissing a person with full lips more passionate and intense? Or its that just-made-out lips that makes you desire the person to kiss you all over???

To me, girls with such full pouty lips are a rarity, like a diamond in the rough, like a hot girl who's still a virgin at 30.

Long gone are the days where thin lips are desirable. These days, girls are going for lip collagen injections, silicone fillers and artificial lip plumpers to get the Angelina Jolie or Amber Chia lips effect. Make up artists are going for the full lips effect by using all sorts of shading , lining and glossing the lips.

I've been doing some research on lip plumper products are most of it are not readily available in the Malaysian market. I guess the Asian men are not that demanding YET! Most of these lip plumping products works by increasing the blood circulation of the lips thus increasing the lip size (swelling it in other words). Natural ingredients such as cinnamon and ginger are used to sting the lips, hence bee-stung lips. According to reviews, after application, the lips will sting quite a fair bit in order for it to swell. Well, no pain no gain and the pain is worth the plumpness.

I have deduced that since stinging of the lips would give that plumping effect, there are tonnes of foodstuff out there that would sting the lips! Try rubbing curry powder or Tobasco sauce all over the lips and I'll guarantee you that you can actually feel the blood circulation increase by 2 folds. Before you know it, your lips are stung to the size of Angelina Jolie's. Mariah Carey rubs on pure peppermint extract onto her lips to get that plumping effect. There are others who claims that rubbing Cayenne pepper on the lips would not only plump it but give the lips natural redness.

My take on it?? Why not rub some whiskey on your lips. I can tell you that you will feel the instant pouty, plumping effect on the lips. It works so effectively to the extend that your upper and lower lips can't touch when you close your mouth. Now that is really super pouty lips! Look at Angelina Jolie and Amber Chia, their upper and bottom lips do not touch when their mouth are closed.

After the whiskey has taken effect on the lips, apply your favorite gloss and you are for sure to get compliments the entire day or night. Whiskey, the happy liquid that doubles up as a beauty secret.

P/S: Guys with pouty, thick lips are utterly disgusting and unattractive. They may think its a God given feature but I can tell you its a stinky feature that irks most girl. I for one simply abhor men with big lips.

Labels: Beauty

posted by DaphStar* @ 7:07 AM 37 comments

Sunday, January 6, 2008

CFM Shoes

Guys, you need to learn this, CFM shoes. When your girl tells you she's wearing her CFM shoes she means " I want you to desire me ONLY in this pair of shoes, nothing else". Yea, its the Come Fu*k Me shoes that is the only article on the body that doesn't come off when the two of you embark into ecstasy.

So how exactly does CFM shoes look like. Well, its gotta be stilletoes , 2 and half or 3 inches, depending on whether the wearer is able to strut properly in it. Super high heels elongates the legs and long legs are sexy especially in a teeny tiny dress. Then of course, there are little details that makes it a CFM sandals instead of a mere high heel sandals is the chain detail. Chains are somehow linked to SM (Sado Ma@@$@#$# crap) which would make any high heel a real CFM shoe. Super strappy sandals are also very CFM. Check out the shoe below and the first thing that comes to your mind .... SM! Shoes like these are not meant to be removed easily and the girl is supposed to keep it on the entire time!

For the girls, only wear CFM shoes when you are out with your guy or someone you plan to flirt with. Shoes like these can sure get you into trouble especially when paired with a dress or teeny tiny skirts. Unless you are planning to get laid on your night out, wear the CFM shoes with extreme discretion!

Labels: Offbeat

posted by DaphStar* @ 7:32 AM 11 comments

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Visit to skin specialist

I paid a visit to a well-known skin specialist in my hometown this week. Well reason being, is my life long acne battle. The previous derm that I visited only fed me accutane which is REALLY bad in the long run and one pill costs around 6 bucks! Damn doctors trying to find the easy way out by prescribing high profit margin drugs.

By visiting this new skin specialist, I was hoping that he would give me better medication as compared to the unscrupulous doctor that I had. The clinic was filled with people and I was anticipating my wait to be around 2 hours long. I dared not sit on the chairs as I feared I might contract any skin disease from patients who has sat on the chairs previously. After half an hour of standing, I gave up and just sat down with the minimum butt contact with the chair.

I noticed a lot of young couples around waiting in line as well. I mean like, if your boyfriend has some skin problem, you don't need to drive him to the clinic rite? These people just pamper their partners too much. If I was ill and I could still drive to the clinic, I would do it myself and not having my boyfriend to come all the way to my aid.

So I was just trying to figure out why would couples go to the skin specialist together. Then I tried snooping around the dispensary counter to see who is actually ill and it turns out the medication was prescribed for both partners. Then it dawned to me that there could only be one reason why couples visit the skin specialist together. Its either they have contract some sort of hideous pubic area skin infection OR they have pubic lice! I would think the latter is quite possible if both partners do not include shaving the pubic area as their daily routine.

In this day and time, shaving the pubic area is essentially as important as shaving the hair at the pits or any facial hair. Reason being, apart from extended pleasure, it sure keeps pubic lice at bay. If your partner tells you that hairs at the pubic area is sexy, tell him to go dig his nose into a Shihtzu.

Looking at how gross pubic lice can get, the only prevention is to shave it clean. Doctor will prescribe all sorts of 'insecticide' to get rid of the little buggers but in the long run it is up to you to keep yourself clean.

The only doctor that young couples should go visit together is the gynae, not the skin specialist. Exception for partners who has no career and bumming at home.

So, try to prevent this avoidable embarrassment cos if visiting the skin specialist together would almost certainly prove that you have pubic lice and you have spread it to your partner and worst of all, YOU HAVE A HAIRY MUFF!

Labels: Lifestyle

posted by DaphStar* @ 11:38 PM 4 comments

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Using slang at the wrong age

Some slang are not meant to be used at a certain age.
I was having some drinks with a bunch of mature women one day. Conversation was normal and as usual I just kept my opinions to myself and listen with an open ear. Well, ears are open but certain information are not transmitted to my brains.

All of a sudden, somoene suggested going down to Ipoh for a glutton day trip. Everybody got excited over the suggestion and agreed to it except for me because I wasn't exactly paying attention to the conversation. Out of nowhere, the leader of the pack asked me, "So, are you game for it??". I was baffled and just stared at her for a second or two. She misinterpreted the expression on my face for incomprehension of the slang game and repeated herself , " Yea, game for it, you know, you on for it?".

I mean, I understand the slang "game" which simply means "on for it" in nigger talk. I myself do not use these street slangs in my daily conversation. So of course it baffles me when someone uses it, especially when it is coming out from an auntie's mouth??!!
Imagine an auntie going, " F'Shizzle M'Nizzle, I am game for anything!".

Wah Lau Eh!

Labels: Offbeat

posted by DaphStar* @ 8:12 AM 4 comments

Monday, November 19, 2007

No more goofy

I'm not in a goofy mood.
I foresee trying times and much grief ahead.
Always appreciate your loved ones while they are still able.
Take them for that special shopping trips, the scrumptious meal that they crave , and the evening walks after dinner.
Never take anything for granted or you'll be remorseful for life.

Labels: Rant

posted by DaphStar* @ 8:11 AM 4 comments

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