Down In A Gulp: Chinese Superstitions Logicalized

Down In A Gulp

Friday, February 9, 2007

Chinese Superstitions Logicalized

Yay, its that time of the year again. Chinese New Year! Dong dong dong chang! Yup, CNY mood is everywhere, shopping malls, pasar malams, the air waves, and in the office. Oh well office is after 5:30pm where it becomes Las Vegas. I've always looked forward towards CNY. The firecrackers, lion dance, family gatherings and how can I forget Ang Pows. Oh makes me proud to be Chinese.

Chinese are however a very peculiar race. We invent gigas and teras of things. We also come up with weird taboos and superstitions that you would never question when you were a child. Take for example if you are a small girl , your mum will always tell you never to leave a grain of rice on your plate or you'll grow up having acne. Hmm I think I did not heed that advice and see what has become of me. Well, but come to think of it, it doesn't work that way. It is just a way of instilling fear in you so that you will not waste the rice. I don't know why but Chinese parents just like to psycho their little girls with all these taboos or superstitions.

Let me come up with a list and logicalize all these superstitions.

- If you strike an animal during your pregnancy, the newborn child will look like that animal and behave like one.
Do not strike animal at all times la! Amalkan sikap belas kasihan terhadap haiwan. Hey it is good actually, what if you were to strike a bird, that means your child will have super hero powers that will allow him to fly. (Too much of Heroes)

- You should never praise a newborn baby because it will invite evil spirits and ghosts.

Train your child to be humble by limiting praises. You don't want them to grow with a disproportionate body. Big head small body.

-Wedding clothes should be red, yellow and/or white.
Me so agree with this. Bright colors instantly heightens anyone's mood. Nothing to Logicalize about.
- The number of steps in a staircase should be even-numbered
Cos we have two legs and it would be break the rhythm of walking up an odd-numbered stairs.This is just for comfort purpose.

- It is bad luck to have two room doors face each other.
Cos you don't want to bump into each other after making out. Maybe there could be a wardrobe malfunction, some starchy substance on your hair or face that you are not aware of, or someone who is not supposed to be in the room.

- It is bad luck if your door or gate faces a road. You are inviting evil spirits into your house.
Nola no spirits. I guess just to prevent a reckless driver from driving straight into your house. Well, it happens when suddenly your steering just locks. The only evil spirits that might end up at your front door would be the doped Mat Rempits.

- The dining area shouldn't be below the second floor toilet
To prevent the toilet bowl from crashing through the ceiling into your dining table while you are having your dinner. It CAN happen.

- Don't sweep the floor on New Year's Day lest you sweep away the good fortune.
Chinese Sabbath day. Do not work! Chill! Have a cup of tea.

- Wearing a moustache is considered bad luck
Ahahah cause if it falls off, it would cause major embarrassment which will erode confidence and image which would effect work and relationship which would affect your entire outlook on life which would make you a lamer begging by the roadside eventually.

- Clipping toenails or fingernails at night is bad luck; the person will be visited by a ghost
Back in those days, they do not have the luxury of electricity. So clipping nails in the dark may result in gory accidents I guess.

In conclusion, Chinese use fear management to handle their community. Just relate anything to evil spirit of ghost and people will be terrified for generations. I guess Chinese are not very nice after they have crossed over to the other dimension. This I can't explain.

posted by DaphStar* @ 6:10 AM

2 Comments:

At February 11, 2007 at 5:10 AM, *yumayz* said…

happy dong dong chiang daph!!! hehe
At February 11, 2007 at 9:55 PM, Anonymous said…

No la! Not all Chinese are like that though some black sheep around. Anyway... Happy Chinese New Year to you too. Arr... Still prefer those days when we could play fire crackers...