Down In A Gulp

iPhone blog

2008-11-30T01:30:00.001-08:00

Blogging using my iPhone is just way too cool

Email Mockery

2008-09-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

Yay...finally an update after aeons.... Gonna make this short as the print screens of the emails would speak for itself, pretty much.

Email correspondence with our "Catbert". Evil Human Resources Director

This was what Catbert sent out to everyone in the company

Basically entire email content is in the header.

I maximized my window to try to read the entire content but it got truncated. So I sent a reply to Catbert and CC-ed to the whole world.

Mail reads: " Dear Catbert, I can' read the entire content of the email in the header no matter how much I have tried to maximize my window.
Kindly copy and paste it into the body.

Thanks,

Daphne "

And this is what Catbert replied.

Reply came in the form of header basically saying "The message is in the header, dear".

Almost killed myself laughing. *faints*

The BJ Lips

2008-01-11T07:07:00.000-08:00

Updated 12th January:
According to Madam Zorra in the Face Fortune column, the Lips are the most sensual feature on the face. It can send love messages in the most subtle and tantalising of ways. Do you know that when you are ovulating your lips grow redder and fuller? Lips send sexual signals. Nothing drives a man's temperature up like a woman running the tip of her tongue over her opened mouth.
I didn't know that lips grow redder and fuller when ovulating. I shall take note of my calendar and how my lips respond during that period of time. This is an interesting myth! I guess I shall start selling cayenne pepper infused lipstick.

Don't ask me why full, luscious, pouty lips are termed BJ lips. Girls with full lips are better kissers ? Perhaps its the wider area of contact that makes kissing a person with full lips more passionate and intense? Or its that just-made-out lips that makes you desire the person to kiss you all over???

To me, girls with such full pouty lips are a rarity, like a diamond in the rough, like a hot girl who's still a virgin at 30.

Long gone are the days where thin lips are desirable. These days, girls are going for lip collagen injections, silicone fillers and artificial lip plumpers to get the Angelina Jolie or Amber Chia lips effect. Make up artists are going for the full lips effect by using all sorts of shading , lining and glossing the lips.

I've been doing some research on lip plumper products are most of it are not readily available in the Malaysian market. I guess the Asian men are not that demanding YET! Most of these lip plumping products works by increasing the blood circulation of the lips thus increasing the lip size (swelling it in other words). Natural ingredients such as cinnamon and ginger are used to sting the lips, hence bee-stung lips. According to reviews, after application, the lips will sting quite a fair bit in order for it to swell. Well, no pain no gain and the pain is worth the plumpness.

I have deduced that since stinging of the lips would give that plumping effect, there are tonnes of foodstuff out there that would sting the lips! Try rubbing curry powder or Tobasco sauce all over the lips and I'll guarantee you that you can actually feel the blood circulation increase by 2 folds. Before you know it, your lips are stung to the size of Angelina Jolie's. Mariah Carey rubs on pure peppermint extract onto her lips to get that plumping effect. There are others who claims that rubbing Cayenne pepper on the lips would not only plump it but give the lips natural redness.

My take on it?? Why not rub some whiskey on your lips. I can tell you that you will feel the instant pouty, plumping effect on the lips. It works so effectively to the extend that your upper and lower lips can't touch when you close your mouth. Now that is really super pouty lips! Look at Angelina Jolie and Amber Chia, their upper and bottom lips do not touch when their mouth are closed.

After the whiskey has taken effect on the lips, apply your favorite gloss and you are for sure to get compliments the entire day or night. Whiskey, the happy liquid that doubles up as a beauty secret.

P/S: Guys with pouty, thick lips are utterly disgusting and unattractive. They may think its a God given feature but I can tell you its a stinky feature that irks most girl. I for one simply abhor men with big lips.

CFM Shoes

2008-01-06T07:32:00.000-08:00

Guys, you need to learn this, CFM shoes. When your girl tells you she's wearing her CFM shoes she means " I want you to desire me ONLY in this pair of shoes, nothing else". Yea, its the Come Fu*k Me shoes that is the only article on the body that doesn't come off when the two of you embark into ecstasy.

So how exactly does CFM shoes look like. Well, its gotta be stilletoes , 2 and half or 3 inches, depending on whether the wearer is able to strut properly in it. Super high heels elongates the legs and long legs are sexy especially in a teeny tiny dress. Then of course, there are little details that makes it a CFM sandals instead of a mere high heel sandals is the chain detail. Chains are somehow linked to SM (Sado Ma@@$@#$# crap) which would make any high heel a real CFM shoe. Super strappy sandals are also very CFM. Check out the shoe below and the first thing that comes to your mind .... SM! Shoes like these are not meant to be removed easily and the girl is supposed to keep it on the entire time!

For the girls, only wear CFM shoes when you are out with your guy or someone you plan to flirt with. Shoes like these can sure get you into trouble especially when paired with a dress or teeny tiny skirts. Unless you are planning to get laid on your night out, wear the CFM shoes with extreme discretion!

Visit to skin specialist

2007-12-27T23:38:00.000-08:00

I paid a visit to a well-known skin specialist in my hometown this week. Well reason being, is my life long acne battle. The previous derm that I visited only fed me accutane which is REALLY bad in the long run and one pill costs around 6 bucks! Damn doctors trying to find the easy way out by prescribing high profit margin drugs.

By visiting this new skin specialist, I was hoping that he would give me better medication as compared to the unscrupulous doctor that I had. The clinic was filled with people and I was anticipating my wait to be around 2 hours long. I dared not sit on the chairs as I feared I might contract any skin disease from patients who has sat on the chairs previously. After half an hour of standing, I gave up and just sat down with the minimum butt contact with the chair.

I noticed a lot of young couples around waiting in line as well. I mean like, if your boyfriend has some skin problem, you don't need to drive him to the clinic rite? These people just pamper their partners too much. If I was ill and I could still drive to the clinic, I would do it myself and not having my boyfriend to come all the way to my aid.

So I was just trying to figure out why would couples go to the skin specialist together. Then I tried snooping around the dispensary counter to see who is actually ill and it turns out the medication was prescribed for both partners. Then it dawned to me that there could only be one reason why couples visit the skin specialist together. Its either they have contract some sort of hideous pubic area skin infection OR they have pubic lice! I would think the latter is quite possible if both partners do not include shaving the pubic area as their daily routine.

In this day and time, shaving the pubic area is essentially as important as shaving the hair at the pits or any facial hair. Reason being, apart from extended pleasure, it sure keeps pubic lice at bay. If your partner tells you that hairs at the pubic area is sexy, tell him to go dig his nose into a Shihtzu.

Looking at how gross pubic lice can get, the only prevention is to shave it clean. Doctor will prescribe all sorts of 'insecticide' to get rid of the little buggers but in the long run it is up to you to keep yourself clean.

The only doctor that young couples should go visit together is the gynae, not the skin specialist. Exception for partners who has no career and bumming at home.

So, try to prevent this avoidable embarrassment cos if visiting the skin specialist together would almost certainly prove that you have pubic lice and you have spread it to your partner and worst of all, YOU HAVE A HAIRY MUFF!

Using slang at the wrong age

2007-11-21T08:12:00.000-08:00

Some slang are not meant to be used at a certain age.
I was having some drinks with a bunch of mature women one day. Conversation was normal and as usual I just kept my opinions to myself and listen with an open ear. Well, ears are open but certain information are not transmitted to my brains.

All of a sudden, somoene suggested going down to Ipoh for a glutton day trip. Everybody got excited over the suggestion and agreed to it except for me because I wasn't exactly paying attention to the conversation. Out of nowhere, the leader of the pack asked me, "So, are you game for it??". I was baffled and just stared at her for a second or two. She misinterpreted the expression on my face for incomprehension of the slang game and repeated herself , " Yea, game for it, you know, you on for it?".

I mean, I understand the slang "game" which simply means "on for it" in nigger talk. I myself do not use these street slangs in my daily conversation. So of course it baffles me when someone uses it, especially when it is coming out from an auntie's mouth??!!
Imagine an auntie going, " F'Shizzle M'Nizzle, I am game for anything!".

Wah Lau Eh!

No more goofy

2007-11-19T08:11:00.000-08:00

I'm not in a goofy mood.
I foresee trying times and much grief ahead.
Always appreciate your loved ones while they are still able.
Take them for that special shopping trips, the scrumptious meal that they crave , and the evening walks after dinner.
Never take anything for granted or you'll be remorseful for life.

Cherating Madness

2007-11-07T04:30:00.000-08:00

Its been long since I have last stepped on soft fine sand. Ahhh, the sand, sea, sun and hunks(I wished). Well it was yet another exciting company trip. The best thing about company trips is that, we are VIPs in the entire resort. We went around caroling to every room door at 12am. No trip is complete without alcohol, and I mean lots of it. This is the best time to get drunk because nobody needs to drive home. Worst come to worst, just crawl back to the room.

So, this year I was still with the same team, different name. The name change was a good move as it actually lifted everybody's spirits.

Had a war cry competition and we had to out do the other team by painting everyone's faces like K I S S.

The Spartan armor and helmet. It was very honorable to be part of the team.

The team, with the King! Our banners and flag kicks ass!

The K I S S Angels.

I love the fluorescent glow in dark tubes. I first bought those when I was in Disneyland and had been fascinated with it ever since. I think I should get myself an entire tube of it and wear it every night.

The party starts. Alcohol are placed in an ice carved boat. Which was I think a waste of money.

Imagining I was Serena Williams winning the Wimbeldon.

Diva in the making. Still managing to run , walk, talk a whole lot and drink.

Taking photos with people that I don't know that well...I am high.

Knowing how to sing songs I never heard in my life..I am super high.

Lying next to whole bunch of empty bottles....super high and gone case.

Hello Ween

2007-10-30T08:36:00.000-07:00

I have never celebrated Halloween, not even when I was in the States. You can say that I was the social outcast of the university society. You know, the freak that doesn't get invited to parties or gets rejected at the entrance of a club. Yes, sad it was.

I felt like Cinderella longing to go to the ball but had to stay home by the cinders with her rats.

So this halloween, I am still not invited to any parties. All I can do is just sit and wonder what would I be if I were invited to a party.

Sexy costumes are all out of the list, cos I ain't voluptuous. Can just forget about sexy nurses costumes. That leaves me with ghoulish costumes and ghoulish is what I have in mind.

If I were invited to a Halloween party, I would be The Corpse Bride.

Wicked!

I have seen one too many devil costumes. It is just too common. So the corpse bride is just awesome.

However, sexy fairy tale character costumes are very provocative. Hmm... I have yet to see anyone in these super sexy fairy tale costumes.

Sexy Lil' Red Riding Hood waiting to be raped by the big bad wolf

Slutty Alice in Wonderland spreading for the Mad Hatter.

For couples who are going for the party together, why not dress up as famous couples.

The sexy nurse waiting to give the mental patient some hot thigh rubs.

The priest and sexy nun getting it on at the backyard of the church.

This is the ultimate couple

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Super Sperm and Super girl! Like WTF, super sperm? Just wonder how will the story line go in a comic since Super sperm is a super hero.

Anyways Happy HelloWeen. Whateva! Enjoy yourselves you bitches!

Unsmelly

2007-10-27T01:53:00.000-07:00

How do you stay considerably unsmelly after a long day at work? If you haven't commute to work, then you won't think that this is a serious issue that needs to be addressed by all Malaysians.

Before lunch time, the lifts are ok if it is stuffed with people. Right after lunch, everybody tend to rush back to the office at the same time and that is when the lift stinks. Smell of char kuey teow mixed with nasi goreng mixed with chicken rice mixed with tom yam permeates the air.

During rush hour in the trains, the air is so pungent that it damages your lungs.

So how exactly does one try to minimize the bad odor after lunch hour? Here are a few tips:

1) If you are going to a typical coffee shop where cooking are done inside, try to avoid a sitting place where all the cooking aroma flows to. If there is an outdoor seating area, go there! Stay far far away from where all the cooking is. In that way, the oils wouldn't stick to your work clothes and blend disgustingly with your body odor.

2) If you have to go to an air conditioned coffee shop that serves to-die-for noodles, make sure you full blast your car freshener. Or if you have a vial of essential oil in the car, drip it on your potpourri or any soft toy just to make sure the fragrance will over power the cooking oil odor. I have verified that this actually works.

3) Girls, buy one of those body mists from body shop and keep it in the office. It helps to spray heaps on yourself after lunch , just to keep yourself smelling fresh. Body mists are light fragrance that would not blend with your body heat. So it wouldn't hurt to spray loads of it.

4) If it is an excruciatingly hot day, plan to dine in the office with sandwiches. It will minimize pespiration hence minimize bad body odor.

5) If you know you have an underarm odor, wear deodorant. If the protection fades by midday, make sure you have bath wipes to wipe the affected area, then re-apply the deodorant. Applying deodorant on an alreayd affected area will only worsen the odor. Ensure to carry bath wipes everywhere. If you are not sure that you have under arm odor, ask a friend! It will hurt at first but you will be thankful that you knew.

With all these in mind, you should be unsmelly even after 6pm.

Hakka yin

2007-10-15T07:26:00.000-07:00

2nd day of raya was not very 'Rayaful' for me. Instead, it was more Chinese New Year-ish.
Was invited to attend the anniversary dinner of a Hakka association in Klang , known as the Tai Pu association. I am not a descendant of the Hakka clan , but was invited to train a couple of kids for a performance.

So there I was in a dinner with 400 over other Hakka people. I was so lost because the entire event was conducted either in Mandarin or Hakka and my command of neither dialect is almost close to nil.

It wasn't an entirely boring night because at least the food was fantastic! The organizers did a very good job at choosing a caterer all the way from Tanjung Sepat(some village off Morib in Selangor). All food served are authentic Hakka cuisine. I was just too occupied with savoring every dish served and gulping down the free flow of beer.

Guests were entertained throughout the dinner. Of course one of the performance was by some kids that I have trained and I must say they have done a pretty good job. The other performances was, irritatingly amusing.

Chinese vocal performances were popular among the guests. It was jaw dropping for me as I have never attended any Chinese karaoke competition in my life. The traditional Chinese karoke style of singing is just in a way hilarious to me. What more when the performer actually dresses up as a Chinese emperor, with a sword in one hand and a microphone in another.

The original Chow Yuen Fatt as the emperor and Jay Chow as the prince in the Curse of the Golden Flower movie.

Counterfeit product of Curse of the Golden Flower. Gotta admit that they paid quite a sum for that outfit. The singing was, well, can't comment because I am more of a Timberlake and Timbaland person rather than a Chinese karaoke crooner.

I think the guy is just hilarious! By the way, they are a father and son pair.

Thank goodness that singing wasn't the only entertainment of the night because our table was strategically placed where the speakers were directly facing us. There was a mini magic/illusion performance as well. And as you would've guessed it, yes, it is a traditional Chinese Magic show.

The person was actually dressed in a robe with a creepy mask, dancing around the stage for the length of 3 full songs. Best part of it all, it is the same 3 songs playing repeatedly for the entire performance. If this was performed in Iowa, kids would have dashed out of the hall screaming their heads off traumatized. What was the illusionist doing dancing around? She was pretty swift in changing masks throughout the dance ritual. It was impressive for the first few minute but then it got a little mundane after the 5th minute. However the MOST impressive part of all was that the performer was a girl. And not just any auntie. It was a hot 17 year old chick under that hideous robe. She was tall, really fair skinned, and she has the sweetest lips and smile. Who knew that a hot chick would do something so traditional. Don't believe me, check it out for yourselves.

She is pretty amazing.I think it is her masculine way of dancing that got everybody thinking it is a dude behind the mask.

There is always a good thing about holding functions in a small town. Food is cheap and exceeds expectations, oversized hall with a control center for performances, best of all corkage - sfree on all bottles of liquor brought to the event! Just ask for ice and water and you can start a party of your own if the event gets boring.

After the dinner, the only Hakka word I have learnt is Hakka Yin, which means Hakka Person. It was the most used phrase of the night. Hakka swear words , I have yet to learn. So if anyone could teach me some, I will use it liberally in my everyday conversation.

Benny Lava

2007-10-08T07:48:00.000-07:00

I am lost for words again after watching this video. Brought to you by the same guy who did the Indian thriller and whom came out with phrases such as PUmping Ovaltine, Gosh my calculator ain't got no bow.
This time watch out for ridiculous phrases like these.
I'd Love to see you pee on us tonight
I put papaya there, you love me inside there
I love you inside me

Ok enough of spoilers.

Totally hilarious and witty. I don't know how the guy does it but he just has a good ear for foreign languages.

Kegel Exercise

2007-10-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

I have never knew the importance of pelvic exercises until briefed by my guru recently.
Normal people would hardly workout their pelvic muscles ,unless you are always trying to hold your pee in. For women, pelvic exercises are also called Kegel Exercise.

So why is it important to workout the pelvic muscles apart from working out the abs?
Well, weak pelvic muscles often lead to urine leakage. You know, sometimes when you had a hard sneeze, you may soil your undies just a little. Imagine the embarrassment if the urine start to flow out uncontrollably and wets the floor you are standing on.I have seen people who laughed so hard that urine start flowing all over their legs until it wets the floor.

Pelvic muscle exercises can be done almost anywhere because the movements are so small that it is not noticeable. It involves pulling in and tensing the vaginal and anus muscles, as if to stop the flow of urine.

Kegel exercises are performed in the same manner. Women who has had gone through childbirth are encouraged to do these simple exercises to retain the firmness of that area. Why go for pills and painful surgery just to get back the firmness when it can be done just about anywhere and anytime.

How do you know if you are doing it right? I mean some of us might not know how to activate the vaginal muscles in order to work it. There are devices out there that tells you whether you are doing it right or wrong. I am amazed that there is actually such a device.

This is actually the KegelMaster and it is an exercise device. Users can adjust the device to create intensity to the exercise.

So, the KegelMaster is a device to assist in exercising. How about a device to actually tell you if you are activating the right muscles or not? I can't seem to find such a device but my guess its that it looks like the picture illustrated above. The flag at the end is the indicator on whether you are contracting the vaginal muscles or not. If done properly, the flag will nod. If done wrongly, the flag will wave sideways (like saying No No). So ladies, do it in your private space cos you won't want your partner to burst out laughing rolling all over the floor when he sees the flag waving. But, you partners will sure appreciate it if you know how to clench that muscle at the right moment during one of your couple 'activity'.

Stupidly awesome

2007-09-26T09:47:00.000-07:00

The first time I was introduced to Friendster, I thought it was a stupid idea of people posting their pictures up for their friends to view it. It's quite meaningless to spend the entire night browsing through the myriad of profiles searching for people you know. Oh yea, and for guys their motive is to tag the chicks who are in their network. For some others, its a race to see who has the most friends. Sometimes it gets too ridiculous that certain people has to open 2 or 3 accounts just to accommodate the list of their 'friends'. Right now you can even make yourself a superstar by re-terming friends as fans. Anyhow, friendster's days are over and many people are phasing out from it except for a bunch of Filipino chicks are still actively promoting themselves.

I am too slowly phasing out of friendster. I must admit that I have to thank friendster for giving me the opportunity to actually build better relationship with my long lost friends. Thank you thank you but I am just bored of friendster right now.

I have recently found my new interest. Also a social networking site but even interesting. The Facebook has become a permanent fixture in my daily schedule.

Facebook allows you to add on thousands of interesting application that are very interactive. Unlike friendster, you can actually create an activity among friends in your list. Right now , I'm hooked onto the Counter Strike application. It may seem lame, because there is no actual shooting involved, but it is addictive because its a race to see who gets the highest rank. Like I said, certain things that may seem stupid at first can turn out to be quite awesome. So, I'm hooked onto Facebook, which explains my hiatus recently.

If you haven't had a Facebook account yet, try to get one.Like I said, it is stupidly awesome.

Mawi Mawi Mawi...

2007-09-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

Mawi is everywhere and he is getting on my nerves. Who is he? Yea sure he won some singing talent contest but I seriously haven't heard him singing before. Does he do the boyband songs well, or the falsetto? I mean, Mawi sings??!!! He can sing??

Well, unfortunately the masses dig guys who look like him. That is why companies are using him in their ads practically everywhere. The fact that he endorses a certain product makes me avoid that product at all costs. For example the M.Mobile. As it is, it is a Malaysian made mobile which costs probably just as much as an imported mobile. Who the heck would use it? And all the better, they get Mawi to endorse it, bummer! So not convinced to buy a stupid phone called M.Mobile. Its just not cool and reliable.

And then Mamee saw the 'bad' trend and got Mawi to endorse for them as well. What's worst, they printed his face on every freaking instant noodle cup. I like Mamee instant noodles, especially the tom yam flavor. Its just fantastic. However, after I saw this ad and this face on every cup, I swear I am avoiding Mamee until someone new endorses it.

EEwwwwww

As if his image on the instant noodle cup is not enough to spoil my appetite, he even came up with his own brand of mineral water!

If this doesn't annoy you, you are better off pursuing a career in Rempit-ing.

So I guess, Mawi is really hot huh. He thinks he has endorsed every product there is and raking in cash like nobody's business. I have a good idea for him to expand his market segment. Since he is in the business of endorsements, why not endorse our favorite foods! Nothing else is tastier than a good pot of Klang Bak Kut Teh. I think this will be a good start for him to penetrate the Chinese cuisine market.

Bagus Teh! Memang Bagus, memang lazat! Mawi suka makan.

Then there is the mouth watering Char Siew , when done properly, it will melt in your mouth like cotton candy.

Char Siew yang terBest! Amat lazat di dalam mulut Mawi.

The day Mawi endorses Bak Kut Teh will be the day a Chinese will take over the Prime Minister administration.

Catch the minister contest!

2007-09-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

Roughly translated, Catch the dog contest organized by the Selayang Municipal Hall. What kinda monstrosity is that, especially in this era! Dogs are not aggressive unless confronted or stoned at. Well, I will be aggressive and bite anyone with I was being stoned at! Hey, no one thought about cats?

Cats are rodents these days you know. They sneak into our houses like thieves, pee and poop in the garden, climb to the top of the car , sometimes into the engine bay, break the windows, and the male cats are super aggressive when confronted! Why don't they organize a cat killing competition as well! Dogs are more intelligent than retard cats. So, stop killing the dogs but kill the mentally retarded ones!

Oh or even better, catching the Menteri Besar competition. Yes, the MB who approve of this inhumane act. A bonus would be given to those whom manage to catch both the MB and the head of Selayang Municipal hall.

Nghiok Nghiok Nghiok

2007-09-09T09:13:00.000-07:00

You know how contagious some people's laughter can get? I mean like the joke is not funny but the laugh is so funny you can laugh non stop for a good 10 minutes and get defined abs after that and probably urinate in your pants? Watch this and you'll understand why the title is as such.

Glitz n Glitter

2007-09-05T07:14:00.000-07:00

Went to a dance party last week in this god forsaken place called Serdang ( sorry, its because I really couldn't find my way and almost cried when I was lost in some Chinese ghetto). The theme was glitz n glitter and knowing those aunties who has all the time in their hands, they will go to the party dressed up like some show stopper super glitzy star.
True enough there was a potpourri of peculiar outfits.

Do not dress your kids in skimpy outfits. It has to be instilled in them that outfits like that are not alright unless you plan to embark on a career as a "dancer"(like the ones I see in Loft)

The lady in gold really went all out to actually create and design her own outfit! However, she truly has a heart of gold. She was the cash sponsor for this event.

The event was not only filled with aunties ok. There was a hot chick too. I'm liking her outfit, it's cute and sexy at the same time.

And not forgetting the MILFs. This is one super hot mom. She's in her 30's , has 2 kids and look, she has a body of a Goddess. All the more enticing when wearing this sheer dress. I say she's a real MILF, what say you. She will be my role model when I am married with kids in future.

Another hot mum. She has side of stomach muscles!

And then someone really caught my eye. She stood out from the crowd like a mirror reflecting sun light from a bush.
Somehow this outfit looks very Moulin Rouge to me. And when I think of Moulin Rouge I think of France. And when I think of France and the cap on her hair, the word French cap came into my mind. She was one of the contestant in the above 50 yrs of age category. Well, guess what......

Miss french cap was the winner in her category.

The interesting people I meet every time I go to a gathering like this.

Our Founding Fathers

2007-08-30T07:26:00.000-07:00

We truly have to thank our founding fathers for the 50 years of Independence of our country. Without them, I think we will be speaking better English and earning Cambridge degrees. But because of them, we are oh so fluent in Bahasa Malaysia, thanks to the ever changing education system which does not seem to stop. But they have made us what we are today and we have been looked up to by other nations who used to struggle like we once did.

Firstly, Tunku Abdul Rahman, our Father of Independence did the most difficult job , unifying the 3 major races in Malaysia to negotiate with the British. I think that was the hardest thing to do at that time because the British has this super big ego which makes the natives of the land that they invade low lives. Despite all of that, he managed to chase the British out of the country peacefully, without a war I tell you. So, he absolutely deserve to be glorified as our Father of Independence. Without him, we won't be having dancing horses and laser shows in the Merdeka Stadium tonight.

After shoo-ing the British out of the country, there is a lot of development to do in the country. Hence we have Tun Razak as our Father Development to thank. Of course, thanks to him, the NEP was born. It was the era of post independence, development of the education system, and development of the economy for future complexities.

Tun Hussein Onn was our Father of Unity. Errm ok...so he carried on the policies of the previous leaders and promoted a lot of unity in the country. It was very crucial at that time to avoid another 13 May 1969. How is a nation going to grow if everybody is going to stand only for themselves and not united? How are we going to produce so many beautiful people if we don't blend with each other? Unity is paramount towards building a powerful nation.

Then of course the longest serving PM in the country whom contributions are more significant ( for me at least) to the nation and the world. He did put our country on the road map and if it was not for him, people from the outside world would still be thinking we live on tree tops with a proper sanitation system. He glorified our country by making us the leader to 3rd world countries. He made sure we host International events like the F1 and Commonwealth Games. These events instantly gained Malaysia global recognition. It was during his administration that we our nation have a set vision and everybody really thrived towards it. Vision 2020 was everywhere and there's no escape from this propaganda. There for the title "Father of Modernisation" was bestowed upon Tun Dr Mahathir for putting us on the global road map.
Unfortunately, there are still some stupid ignorant Americans whom still think we do not exist but Thailand and Singapore do. More so they are stupid enough to believe that we still live on tree tops with advanced sanitation system. So, the Americans should look into their education system because it is known that many high school kids can't even point out their own country on an atlas!

And last but not the least, we have our very favorite Pak Lah.
Please choose the best answer for the question below

Pak Lah, Father of ____________.

1) all Datuks
2) Muhibbah
3) Fastest Chick hunter after your wife has passed away
4) Do whatever you want (You can build a castle in a kampung and get away with it)
5) Refurbishing government offices
6) Tidak apa

I seriously ran out of ideas.

Anyways, he will always be our Mr Nice Dude. Too nice that vision 2020 seems blurry these days.

Happy 50th Merdeka!

Brazilian wax

2007-08-25T07:04:00.000-07:00

I paid a visit to The Ministry of Waxing yesterday.
Ok I really didn't know they were the Ministry of Waxing cos I was recommended for their Nail services ( yea, my mani and pedi ritual). Anwayz, Ministry of Waxing is specialize in Brazilian waxing. Before stepping into this parlor, I only knew that Brazilian meant stripping every piece of hair from your pubic area but when i picked up the brochure, there was a list of Brazilian waxing packages.

There are actually 9 Brazilian waxing packages offered in this parlor. Price on the right is for semi permanent hair removal, price on left is for the normal hair removal service.

I am still trying hard to figure out what does the Crack (hard wax!) service is. You mean they actually wax off hair from the butt crack using hard wax?! I know waxing that part is painful enough what more hard wax. Do they like drip wax on the crack, wait for it to harden before pulling the entire piece of wax off? I don't want to visit the toilet for a week after that.

The interesting parts are the xxx strip.

1) x strip( clippering down the front)

So its just basically snipping off the hair and not waxing I guess. That would mean there are still bushes left for those who seek SOME jungle adventure.

2) xx strip (full bikini)

Some women actually have hair sprouting out from their inner thighs near the groin area. So if you were to wear a bikini with hair sprouting from both ends, its gonna look like some seaweed stuck to your bikini. Stripping the bikini line is important.

3) xx strip extra ( full bikini)

Extra stripping meaning with massage as well?

4) xxx strip ( labia + bottom + design)

ohhh...the normal package doesn't include waxing off the labia? The labia area is very tender and only a specialist will be able to strip the labia with extra care. Bottom? I am guessing its the area close to the anus. Waxing off that area would hurt like hell! This is all for the benefit of our man or men. This package even comes with a design. Wow, are designs actually a turn on? I mean men, do you need us to have an arrow to indicate where you should go for enjoyment?

5) xxxx strip ( all off)

My suggestion is to wear a skirt when going for waxing. After that, it is better to keep your panties in your handbag because airing 'it' actually soothes the pain.

I don't think I will try the Brazilian anytime soon. It feels weird spreading for another female. What if she's a lesbo, then I'm in trouble.

Shorts shorts shorts!

2007-08-23T04:47:00.000-07:00

Summer is still lingering, as in summer fashion and shorts are still hawt! Yes, structured, textured shorts are rampant in fashion houses. Why are they so popular? Well, of cos its the weather that permits us to wear shorts and it has and will always be the sign of a jolly good day.

Shorts are the versatile piece of clothing you can ever own.

Wear if while working out.

Wear it to the mamaks.

Wear it to the malls.

Wear it while taking the doggy out for poo poo.

Wear it even to the clubs. Yes, it is acceptable for us girls to wear shorts for clubbing.

And so you ask, how to wear shorts for every occasion?
This is how the celebrities do it.

From left:

Mischa Barton pairs her LV shorts with a striped cardigan and peep toe heels for an after-dark outing. Very glam. It is acceptable to wear this outfit to posh diners.

Jessica Stam (a model) wears her shorts with a pair of flats. Perfect for that stroll in the mall during weekends.

Alessandra Ambrosio *slurps*. How not to look slutty with shorts and boots. Alessandra Ambrosio displays the absolute perfect way of pairing these two and make it look very sexy. Of course you gotta pair it with a pair of almost nude boots and never black leather ones. The scarf gives just the right amount of coverage for the exposed areas but at the same time it is sheer. Only someone with a body of a goddess can pull off a look like that.

Kate Moss wears her black tailored shorts well with a long sweater and white top tucked in. To complete the look, she pairs it with a pair of wedgies which makes her look oh so perfecto.

Keira Knightley pulls of this smashing look with a cropped jacket over a long loose t-shirt. Oh yea, not forgetting the fashion staple, big handbag and big pair shades.

Oh and of course make sure your legs are shaved when wearing shorts. Even stubs are not acceptable. If there are scars, don't be lazy, use a concealer.

Sports gone sexy

2007-08-20T06:03:00.001-07:00

We have witness (maybe our parents have) the evolution of women's sports attire. I am talking about women's tennis attire in particular. In the olden days, tennis used to be the sport of the affluent. So, women will be dressed in their fine gowns and hats while playing the sport. And then I guess women got a little more aggressive in the sport and decided to chase every shot which made gowns and hats really inconvenient to play in. So women got a bit more daring and the outfit shrunk and shrunk and shrunk over the years. It shrunk until it became a sport of boobs, bootie and biceps.

How else sexier can you get with tennis attire these days. Tennis is no more about polo tees and mini skirts. Its all about designer wear. The sexiest gets the attention.

I think the evolution for tennis attire should just end right here. That's enough. The girls can move really well it those skimpy outfits.
So, what about golf then? I just started golf like 2 weeks ago and I am really into it right now.
Ladies golf attire are really boring, same ol' polo tee and pants.

If I can't excel in the sport, I think I shall grab attention on the golf course by revolutionizing the way women golfers dress. Inspired by the way tennis stars dress these days, I think women golfers should dress the same way too! Of course, I gotta slap lotsa sun screen when playing golf as well and not forgetting the visors.

Ok, for starters, I guess I'm gonna make the mini skirt the staple of my golf attire. How to make the attire even sexier?? Well, throw in a pink bustier and that will for sure grab lots of attention when bending down to retrieve the ball after putting into the hole.

Tube top a little inconvenient after a full and through swing?(With so much boobs pushed up in that bustier, nip slip is bound to happen) So, back to the old fashion sleeved polo top but with a little twist.

A low neck line midriff-baring polo top. This top will definitely keep boobs in check while still baring a little bit of cleavage and some abs. Uber sexy outfit for golfing.

If the professionals adopt these outfits, golfing will never be the same again. Men won't dread to play with weaklings (ie: women) anymore, instead they will go to the ends of the world to make sure they have a lady in their flight.

Till then men, pray and hope that there will be super sunscreen product in the market that will entirely block out the skin from all sun rays like an invisible leather suit for 6 hours. Only then, women will wear mini skirts and cropped polos for golfing.

Patriotic Toe-riffic!

2007-08-16T08:06:00.000-07:00

As previously mentioned, I am totally in love with pedicure and manicure. Since I can't actually decorate other parts of my body ( cos I don't dare to attempt tattoo), I have resorted to nail art.
Getting a manicure and pedicure is pampering! It feels like royalty when people actually bend down to wash your feet and start scraping dirt out of it. So, these are my latest nail art.

Lilac with some mod flower design

Butterfly design

Abstract leaf design

Merdeka is approaching I think I should do my patriotic duty to display the national flag somewhere. Hanging the flag off the car is too common and way too irritating. Can't stand it flapping on the car when I am speeding.

I guess the next most creative way is to show my patriotism on my nails in the form of nail art! Wearing the Malaysian flag has been done before. But wearing it on the nails is something I have yet see. Since this Independence day is a significant one, I shall do something significant as well.

MERDEKA on my feet. Merdeka my foot??!!!

The flag is getting too cliche actually. Since we love our country, we have to love our leaders that has brought this nation to what it is today right? I'm getting off this flag cliche and shall love my country leader. It is time to pay tribute to his high excellency.

Love thy leader! I can express my patriotism any way I choose to.

Since I am in the mood of spreading love, I think I should get the world leaders to love each other.

For World Peace! You guys should just learn to live next to each other without the guns and the nuclear bombs, okay?

Peace Out.

Dog doing human style

2007-08-10T09:36:00.000-07:00

You think doggy style gives better satisfaction than human style? Well, this doggy think otherwise.
He thinks wanking is cool, what more in public. This doggy certainly has a wicked fetish.

Its 'thing' is a little too long for a small doggy.

Pole Dancing for fitness

2007-08-09T09:34:00.000-07:00

Hmm...since when erotic dancing became a form of fitness acceptable by the community? It all started off with belly dancing, a dance of seduction. Then there was lap dance and pole dance for fitness. How cool is that! You can do pole dancing at the gym!

I am not sure if there is a pole dancing class in Malaysia yet, but it is definitely a hit in the West. Pole dancing is great. It helps tone the body from head to toe. Of course it helps tones. Checkout the moves a pole dancer does.

You need hell of a good abs to do that stunt.

There are names to pole dancing moves as well: back hook, chair, fireman, fairy, crucifix, chair slide, and sun wheel. I think I can only figure out what fireman move is, just spiral down the pole that is.

Have you ever seen a fat and flabby pole dancer???

Err, from my observations, the fat ones stay on the floor and offer lap dances. Therefore, pole dancing will definitely develop muscles at the right parts to give a tone and kick ass body.

Soon it will become a fad and maybe you'll be seeing aunties going for lessons as well. Aunties need to seduce their husbands as well ok. Aunties these days are very hip and happening, dun pray pray. I shudder at the thought of an auntie giving a pole dance performance in a function.

Suckle on toe-sicle

2007-08-04T03:53:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been obsessed with manicure and pedicure. I think its the nail art fascination that got me all crazy. Also I'm obsessed with cutting my cuticles and any hardened skin around the nail area. Basically nail grooming has become an obsession.

I believe its proper manners for women to have their nails groomed properly. If you don't groom it before painting it which most women does, the result is disastrous. I mean at least soften the cuticles and push it back will do. Or maybe scrub to remove the dirt in between nails would even do some good. Can you imagine dirt that have been stuck in between the toenails forever?? It will stink really bad. So guys, the next time you're thinking about really pleasuring your woman by sucking her toes, think twice. You might be licking the accumulated dirt in between the nails as well. Make sure your girl gets pedicure done weekly before you give her the sensual toe sucking.

So, back to my obsession with nail art. Some designs can be way over the top.
Have a look at these.

Fruits on nails...looks like pieces of shit stuck on your nails. Sorta like colorful booger.

Definitely can't dig your nose with nails like these!

Mind blowing!

Also, I think that it is only proper to remove any unwanted hair on the toes, especially the mother toe. Look at this and you will know what I mean.

Shave off those atrocious hair! See what happens if you don't get a pedicure and wear summery sandals?? It is of cos, ATROCIOUS! So girls, if you do have the fine bits of hair growing from your toes, please remove it by all means. You don't want your man to suckle on your toesicle in that condition.

Be NAILICIOUS and go to your nearest mani pedi salon. Guys too must do the same.

Dinner Jobs

2007-07-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

There was this particular blog I read about dinner jobs. Apparently most of the models that we see or know have taken or are still taking up dinner jobs. So what is the job description?
Guess what I found, a posting on dinner jobs!

People that the relation engineers would most likely entertain are dirty old men with lotsa moolahs.

Not all dinner jobs require the girls to offer themselves after that apparently. So you can choose to hook or not to hook. After reading about the (s)excitements of dinner jobs, I would never see models the same way again.

EngTex

2007-07-30T09:19:00.000-07:00

Mr Anonymous mentioned that EngTex would hit 3.5. I was monitoring it today and it opened at 1.76 , shot up to about 2.23 , finally settling down at 2.22. Apparently there is a bonus issue on Tuesday 31st July. So, would EngTex really hit 3.5 tomorrow?

I really don't know but Mr Anonymous is betting his life on it. There are so many unknowns ( to me at least) in this counter and I am not sure should I be taking the risk or not. I don't wanna catch a falling sword. I don't normally sit in front and monitor stocks cos I simply don't have the time to, so playing contra would not be such a good idea. However, the temptation is there looking at how it jumped today. It looks almost too artificial.

Dolmite and Metacor

2007-07-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

Few months back I blogged about these two counters namely Dolmite and Metacorp.
Stock Pick

These 2 were dormant counters for the past year or so. The so called salt fish stocks.
However, the past 3 days was really exciting. Look at what happened to the salted fishes. You know what they say in Chinese. (Resurrection of the salted fish)

Chart for Dolomite. It has been hovering around .30 for sometime and all of a sudden there was a breakout. Shot up to .44 within 5 days! There was some indication on the 20th July according to the MACD crossing. Close to 50% gain, can't find this kind of figure in the blue chips. So bulk up at around .35 if the price does go down. I'm ecstatic.

Metacorp was another dormant counter until the 18th July. Another sudden break out. It became one of the top 10 counters with the highest volume on KLSE. Of course the news of them being the supplier for the Penang second link is out as well as their long extended law suit has come to an end. All these are most likely the factors for the sudden surge as well.
I'm going crazy.

Bimbo attempting to write tech flyer

2007-07-23T08:25:00.000-07:00

Recently I came across a flyer of a new MAC store in Bangsar. It was the most hilarious tech marketing I have ever seen. This girl actually wrote an entire essay about the coolness. It is not how awesome a MAC is but just about the word cool.How do I know it was a girl who wrote this flyer? Cos she wrote the same exact thing for her dance studio. Check this out.

In case you can't read it, I shall type it out here.

Why haven't you still owned a MAC?

We loved our PC. It looked great on our family desk. We surfed the net. Chatted online with friends and listened to our favorite tunes.

- Ok, hold up. I've got something to say here. There is an abuse of full stops here. You can actually combine the ideas into one or two sentences. Ok, a PC doesn't look very great on the family desk FYI. Unless its a freaking LCD monitor, projector keyboard and the entire CPU submerged into some non-conducting liquid. Otherwise, PC never looked great especially on family desk??!!!! eeksss..I don't think I can even chat if its on the family desk.

But that was until we got a Mac. Owning a Mac is like owning a flashy sports car. But even better. It's built to last. It works like a dream. It's cool. But ten times more than cool.

- Hmm, yea Mac is a flashy sports car, but what is better than a flashy sports car?? A rocket? Mac is built to last? No way man. Every tech equipment has an EOL (end of life). Sorry to say, you have to keep updating, or else it won't be cool anymore. You see, she does not know how else to describe so she had to waste another sentence to say that it is ten times more than cool. Me no very understanding what is ten times more than cool. Does it mean it is Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious cool? OMG, it is soooo bimbo-ish. Again notice the abuse of full stops?? Who the heck talks like that!

If looks could kill. It would be a Mac.

- Again too many full stops or should I say overuse of period. She must have wrote it during her period. I do agree that MAC's designs are meant to be cool. Steve Jobs is very anal when it comes to designs.

We just printed our first photo book. We share songs with our eye catching ipods. And record our favorite tv shows. Even mom organizes her photos on our Mac.
That PC, well...what PC?
We never had one.

- errr.....*stress* So, a Mac is a photo kiosk? That's a frigging expensive one indeed. I don't frigging care about the shallow things you do with your Mac. I wanna know its capabilities!! features!! the edge it has over Windows!! What about all those cool interface that it is capable of? I bet she doesn't have any frigging idea what kinda OS it is running on. Maybe, she doesn't know what an OS is!
And to end it, she made another bimbo statement about not owning a PC..ahhaha. It is excruciating to read what she is writing and how she is trying to say that Mac is cool. In conclusion Mac is cool, so you should go get yourself one cos it is cool. Why is it cool, I don't know but I know it is ten times more than cool.

Next time if your non techie gf offers to do a write up on a gadget for you, just say "Honey, I'll make love to you the entire night after I write it myself".

It is excruciating to read the entire flyer I tell you.

Go, Go Shawty, Its my Birthday!

2007-07-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

YAHOOLIGAN! It's my birthday, We gonna party like its my birthday, We gonna sip Bacardi like its my birthday!
In 15 mins I'm turning 21 *he he*. I wish I had a birthday cake this big to relive my childhood.
Right now I'm lovestoneddd. Seriously, its my theme song...LoveStoned......

Birthdays are fun until you hit 30. That is the time you start thinking what have you achieved so far in life and what awaits you in another 10 years. I shall ponder about that when I hit 30. Till then, I still got 9 more years to go *ke ke*.

GO GO SHAWTY, ITS MY BIRTHDAY.

Turn your beer belly into bigger boobs!

2007-07-20T09:14:00.000-07:00

Whoever who came up with this misconception that bigger boobs are super sexy and attractive, should be put into a chamber full of women with unsightly huge boobs.

Women have suffered a great deal just to get their bosoms enlarged...for the pleasure of their men.
Suffer no more because bigger boobs is just an injection and 6 months away.
There is this new procedure- dubbed Celution - extracts the fat cells from your belly, or booty, mix them up with stem cells, then injecting them into your tatas.

The entire procedure takes less than an hour which completely beats implants hands down. However, your boobs wouldn't grow instantly like inflating a balloon, rather it will gradually grow over the period of 6 months. Best part is that it is your own body fats, so you won't feel like there are 2 basketballs hanging from your chest.

The procedure is right now in its trial stage. It will be introduced in Europe early 2008. So watch out for the Celution, girls. Once it is introduced here, the A cup would cease to exist in the market. Every girl will have tatas that would make any guy go gaa gaa.

Dance competition

2007-07-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

I attended a dance competition as a spectator on a Sunday morning, a lil hungover. At least it was an interesting competition to watch. Also, I was wide awake, thanks to the auntie that was sitting beside me. To be polite and respectful, I kept my cool and just smile and nod at her every remark.
Can you imagine, she was sooo excited that she kept turning back to her friends, passing remarks, then talking over me to my neighbor about the participants and she kept doing that back and forth and back and forth and side to side. OMG, lady, just shut up and sit still! I couldn't take it and I offered to exchange places with her so that she can talk to her friends till kingdom comes.

Annoying lady aside, there were interesting participants tho. Of course, the vast majority was made out of teens and middle age participants. There were the kiddy group and they are just so adorable. Some are too tiny that its not funny.

The girl looks like a little dot compared to the participants around her.

Then came the interesting event. Belly dancing...ooo....smoking hot I tell you.

Very well endowed belly dancer.

It only gets better and better..... and suddenly...

Ok...auntie's got guts.

But I will tell you who's got the BIGGEST guts (pun intended)

Yes, the crowd roared and cheered when she made her entrance. But checkout who's got even bigger guts.
A male belly dancer. This is unheard of, to me at least.

Overall, it was pretty entertaining.

Ok here's the video.

Lending a shoulder

2007-07-14T00:32:00.000-07:00

Often times I see boyfriends carrying their girlfriend's handbags while strolling down the mall hand in hand. I mean the handbags are those really small hobo bags and not over-sized satchels.

Girls, seriously, the handbag is to accessorize your outfit and not your boyfriend's. He can carry your handbag when you need to try on something or go to the washroom. Please do not accessorize your boyfriend with your handbag because it looks gay.

Since when did this trend came about and how it came about is not precisely known. I am not trying to offend anyone , rather create the awareness that guys carrying girly handbags are just gay. Guys, it is not manly at all to carry a handbag. If you want to show your care for her, carry her shopping bags instead.

Falling Sensation before sleep

2007-07-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many of you out there experience this but I do experience this every single night before I fall asleep. I practically FALL before I fall asleep. How do I know that I fell? I feel my whole body jerking before I go into a deep sleep. You know, the 5 different stages of sleep which eventually leads to REM ( Rapid Eye Movement).

Shall not go into the details of the stages of sleep because it can become very technical. However, I am still amazed at this phenomenon. I believe I am not the only one who experiences this falling and jolting sensation every time before I fall asleep or go into a deep sleep. And the dream of me falling is always the same....either from a staircase or into a drain!

Its a scary feeling to fall. My body sort of like goes into a shock when I dream that I am falling. It is like a prequel to my dream sequence.

So why is this happening to me? I decided to take this issue to the forum of unexplained mysteries.

This phenomenon apparently is called a hypnic jerk. According to Wikipedia, it is an involuntary muscle twitch which often happens during transition from wakefulness to sleep. Hypnic jerks are completely normal and are experienced by most people especially when they are over-tired or sleeping uncomfortably.

What causes it? Sadly there is no clear cause but there are hypotheses. The jolts are a normal part of the sleep process , as is slower breathing, and lowering of body temperature. The feelings associated with relaxation before sleep is misinterpreted by the brain as a falling, and by reflex the body jerks out the limbs to stay upright.

Sounds quite logical to me. At least I don't have to believe that my soul doesn't leave my body when I fall asleep (which causes the jolt) and come back when I am about to wake up.

Japan GT Babes too sexy

2007-07-05T07:53:00.000-07:00

Some members of our very 'smart' politicians raised the issue of the scantily-clad Japan GT Babes. Well, politicians, they inherited their brains from the animal kingdom. I think 8tv should have this variety show called Politicians Say the Darndest Thing. I bet it will receive super high ratings.

And so they say that the GT queens are too racy. Hello, are they even naked, or are they baring their G strings around the circuit? I think they are really decent in a sexy way. I have seen even racier Malaysian girls who sometimes bare it all in pictures.
So tell me, what is so provocative about these Japan GT Babes???

Err well, I believe it is really hot out there and they have to be under the sun for half the day. So it's forgivable that they are baring their midriff.

I think this is decent exposure! They are wearing long pants and long sleeves.

This is Kawaii and decent enough to go to the clubs.

Now lets see what have the two Barisan Nasional reps have to say about these Kawaii girls.

Can the ministry allow them to wear small-sized dresses?” Datuk Hasni Mohamad (BN – Pontian)asked.

Do all men like to look at naked women? There may be some men who like to watch. But are the authorities afraid to take action against foreigners?” Datuk Mohamed Aziz (BN – Sri Gading) asked .

You see, our very intellectual Datuks can't even phrase their idea in a proper and mature language. Why are all Malaysian politicians this childish??!! Small-sized dresses doesn't necessarily mean it is vulgar or racy. You can be in a small dress but you are covered properly.

Then , another moron asked a question that a young teenager who just hit puberty could answer confidently. Do all men like to look at naked women? Yes of course! But are the Japan GT Babes naked? NO! I believe he is the one who is stripping the girls naked with his eyes. I bet he has been watching too much Hentai or Japanese porn to have this mind set that all Japanese girls are sex objects.

What a shame , what a shame.

I bet this is what they have on their minds of how the girls should promote the Japan GT.

Super Kawaii!!

The way it should be.

This is our way of promoting Malaysia to the world.

Happy Visit Malaysia 2007!

Please don't buy the bald seal

2007-07-02T05:31:00.000-07:00

This video cracked me up all day. Checkout the translations, friggin hilarious.
Everytime I repeat the video, I'll be laughing teary.

Watch out for these lyrics.

Oo OO Papa restaurant,
OOOOO pumping ovaltine.

Roll, jam, belching, raving, son!
Mock and bulled and mumued star!
Kill her! Kill her ! Kill her!

I swear these are the lyrics.

Types of Alcoholics

2007-06-30T23:36:00.000-07:00

So how does an alcoholic look like??

Like vicky vacko?

Or like him?

What you see are the alcoholic generation. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, there are 5 types of alcoholics.

Young Adult subtype:
These are the young adult alcoholics with an average age of 24. They drink less frequent than other alcoholics but tend to binge drink when they do. These are mostly people who's parents restrict them from going out but when they do , they overdo it. You can find them mostly in Rush or Q-Bar.

Young Antisocial subtype:
These people are 26 yrs old on average. They posses antisocial personality disorder. These are the people who have the tendency to smoke tobacco and pot. I would say they are the freaks maybe. Definitely does not apply to me.

Functional subtype:
Generally middle-age working adults who already have stable relationships , more education and higher income than the other alcoholic . They tend to consume alcohol every other day. This is more common in our society. Or rather the people that I often come across. I know many alcoholics but at least now I know they are the good alcoholics. You can find them mostly in Velvet...hehe.

Intermediate familial subtype:
Most of them have close relatives who are alcoholic.
Alcoholic relatives are also a bad influence especially during Chinese New Year.

Chronic severe subtype:
This is the rarest type of alcoholic. This subtype mainly constitutes of men, having the highest divorce rates and are mostly users of illicit drugs. These are what we call the scum of the society. They most likely feed on home made alcohol where quality control does not exist.

So, why are people addicted to alcohol or rather why do they form a love relationship with it? City dwellers are constantly looking for ways to feel relaxed and some needs a rowdy way to relax. It is weird that we can't leave the city yet we still want to get away from the hum-drum of our daily lives.

Days of the week

2007-06-28T06:45:00.000-07:00

This is how I would describe the days of the week of my life:

Mundane Monday - Yea, wake up, work , meeting, lunch, sit in office or run out. Nothing much.

Terrible Tuesday - When the pressure starts building up cos you know you have another 3 more days to drag.

Worrisome Wednesday - Work beats the crap out of you.

Thirsty Thursday - Preview to the weekend. Drinking starts gradually.

Freaking Friday! - Yahooo... its freaking Friday meaning no work the next day.

Surreal Saturday - When you're drunk, every event seems surreal.

Sober-up Sunday - A day to sober up. Start preparing work at night for Mundane Monday.

So, what's your life like?

Bad name for a car

2007-06-27T07:06:00.000-07:00

What were the marketing people in Nissan thinking when they gave the name Latio to their new sedan range. Seriously, it really sounds like Fellatio. Maybe that is how they got the inspiration for the name of the car. One day, a guy was getting a hot Fellatio when it struck him that he should give the name Latio to the new Nissan.
So, if the marketing person were to be a lady, she would give the name Nissan Lingus.

Sepet can be beautiful too...

2007-06-20T06:45:00.000-07:00

Who says only girls with big goo goo eyes are beautiful.

I agree that big round eyes are no doubt cute, pretty and beautiful. Big eyes are mesmerizing and it could just kill a guy with one look. Ok, I think girls with big eyes are overrated. Sorry to those beautiful girls out there, but you are already born with beautiful eyes so give me a chance to justify that there isn't a need for a double eyelid surgery.

Chinese are naturally born with slant eyes and that's what we are meant to be. Slant eyes are our identity which sets us apart from the Europeans or other Asian nation. Have you seen an ang moh with slant eyes?? Rare. So, today I would wanna revive the slant eye beauty that have been forgotten ever since the emergence of people like Ayumi Hamasaki, Jolin Tsai and every Taiwanese girl for that matter.

Slant eyes can be mesmerizing tooo..

Very alluring..

So girls, if you think your non existent eyes are ugly and you are considering plastic surgery, consider this first.

First day after surgery. Wah lau ehh!! looks like it was taken from a horror movie.

Fifth day and it looking like freak show.
After 2 weeks.

But for the first freaking week, can't possibly go to work with the eye looking like that.
Its ok, I shall keep my single eye-lid just the way it is. Power to the Chinese! HAROOH! HAROOH! HAROOH!

Butt cutting underwear 1

2007-06-14T07:27:00.000-07:00

To many, thongs simply means the type of panties that gets stuck in between your butt crack. As uncomfortable it may sound, it is actually sexy.

Moving on, let me educate about the types of thong that I know that are currently available.
Not all butt cutting panties are called thong. Basically there are 4 types:

1) Brazilian Cut

This may seem like a regular panty, however it cuts the butt still. Sexy in a way it provides more coverage compared to regular thong. So, it gives the guys an impression that it is a regular panty from the front but when flipped over, it is a partial thong revealing part of the ass. Some guys like the suspense of not revealing it all.

2) V String

V String has a little less coverage. As you can see, there is only a string supporting the entire panty. This means that it is meant to be worn under a very sheer figure hugging dress. Lesser coverage, less visible panty line, sexier! Gives the illusion that you are not wearing any panties at all under the dress! Fuyoh!

3) Thong

Now, this is called a thong. Slightly less support compared to the Brazilian but a bit more revealing. Suitable to be worn under a fitted pair of pants where you do not want any panty line. Also of course you must have a nice ass to show it off, else it will look too droopy and heavy without any support. Thongs don't give much support, so the ass has to support itself!

4) Pearl Thong

Lastly, the most interesting one. The Pearl Thong. Made famous by Samantha in Sex and the City. I have yet to see something like that in the Malaysian market. I guess women don't feel to comfortable wearing their pearl necklace at their bottom. This is not really a functional panty like the above 3, but I guess it is more of a tool, a seduction tool. Can you imagine some pearl beads rubbing against the bottom all day long. I think some women get a sense a high from that rubbing motion. I mean like who wanna get aroused from wearing a pearl thong while having a meal, that is if you wanna get laid on your first date.

Rear view

To purchase go to
Be Cheeky

Front view

Team Name

2007-06-11T03:24:00.000-07:00

Every year my company will have an Olympics where every team will have to send their best sports men and sports women to participate. It is fun because not only do we get to participate in the sports, but also to choose a name for the team and also to dress up(sounds girlie).

The theme for last year and this year is Super Heroes. There are tonnes of famous super heroes and it is an easy and fun theme to go with. There were 4 teams altogether, The Jedis, The Incredibles, The ThunderCats, and the most unfortunate The Avengers. And I was one of the unfortunate ones.

The other teams at least had some sort of costume to dress up in or even carry or wear accessories (light saber, swords, eye mask). The Avengers however is baffling. What do we dress up as??

Seriously I haven't watched The Avengers before and why are they even considered super heroes?!
This was our team. Yes, it is sad that we had to wear party eye mask. But what to do???!!! a cock name as our team name makes a bluebird(translate into hokkien) team.

This year however we decided not to be mocked at. We are changing names and changing leaders! Through much brain storming, we came up with an awesome team name, The Spartans! We are well prepared, well organized and well motivated. The name was inspired by the movie 300 which was a super awesome movie.

Everyone is psyched about the brand new name that we have changed. Even our leader who coincidentally is named King (which makes him King of Sparta) is keeping his facial hair just to look like King Leonidas. The body, oh well, could take years of training for that. We've just decided to fake the abs by drawing the contours using tanning powder.

The Oracle is an interesting character to portray, but we wouldn't want too much of nudity. I don't think anyone would want to be draped only in a piece of thin curtain.

It would be hard to dress up as the queen as well. Too much exposure. However, if we do, I guess we would win the best dressed and best team spirit. Who wouldn't award someone for dressing in that piece of cloth!

It is going to be interesting to watch the Spartans in battle. We even have our battle flag with a killer logo. All we need right now are spears, shields and daggers to complete the team's costume.

Shall update with pictures of the dress up event. Would be interesting to see a half naked King, Queen and the Oracle!

Do's and Dont's when taking LRT

2007-06-06T07:06:00.000-07:00

LRT is a great transportation mode in the city. It is meant to release a certain amount of stress overloaded on us by the constant madness of the traffic in KL. It is definitely better than taking the horrendous buses in Puduraya. I would just shoot myself if I were to walk into Puduraya to catch a bus.

I used to work in KLCC and LRT is the greatest mode of transportation to get to work. At least I don't have to pay for ludicrous parking fees and be late for work. Also, it gave my leg muscles the right amount of workout that I needed.

However, my only discontent would be the overly crowded trains during peak hours. And you do know how certain people smell especially after a long day of perspiration.

I have taken trains in Hong Kong, Singapore and New York during the peak hours but none smelt like how the trains in Malaysia do. I just can't understand why. If you were to say its because of the weather that makes us perspire more compared to Hong Kong and New York, then what about Singapore? I believe that Singapore is just as hot and humid as Malaysia is.

Considering that 2007 is the year to Visit Malaysia, I believe that tourists are heavily dependent on our railway system to access to various parts of the city. This would mean that they would also have go through the same torment that we do everyday and go back to their motherland with not a very pleasant memory. More like a foul smelling memory.

I have found out that I am not the only one who took notice of this irritating social problem.
Hence, Thomas, my fellow LRT passenger came up with this notice to supplement the existing notice that PUTRA has put in place.

Some people may be illiterate so graphical representation of these prohibitions would be even more effective.

Happy Visiting Malaysia!

A Garden wedding ,A night of Shenanigans

2007-06-03T01:25:00.000-07:00

This is the first time I have attended a garden wedding. Usually its the traditional Chinese sit down dinner in a hotel, where dinner is suppose to start at 7pm but will drag to 8:30pm. Worst case scenario is that the older folks will chuck their favorite karaoke oldies hits into the machine and croon the night away. HATE IT!

So, garden wedding is totally different where its a buffet instead of a sit down dinner. Guests will get to mingle with the other guest instead of getting their ass glued to the seat, going through the grueling 9 or 10 course dinner.

Actually this post is meant to be picture-heavy-duty.

And so, my evening started out real early. Unfortunate for everyone, I brought the rain.

Nice setting with the tables and tents in the garden, not so nice when the ground is soaked with water. By the way if you like what you see, the garden wedding took place at Cafe Citron located along Jln Eaton. It is one of those big bungalows with a lawn of a soccer field.

The indoors were fully reserved for family and close friends.

Nat and I the ang pow treasurer. Sorry Joey, I actually peeked into every packet that we received and gave nasty looks at those who gave below 100 bucks.

I like the place quite a fair bit. It has that warm rustic feel to it. So I decided to explore it a bit more.

And yes, my favorite, the toilet. Checkout the little wooden door by the sanitary bin. A bathroom catered for the hobbits. How cute!

The rain couldn't seem to stop and we couldn't seem to stop too...drinking that is. Finally the bride and bridegroom made their entrance.

The MCs had to calm the rowdy crowd. Alcohol turns people into creatures.

The Charlie's Angels. We are the life of the office.

Actually make that 4. The bride is the new addition to the Angels.

The night went along pretty well. Albeit our soaking wet feet, we still managed to make our to Velvet for the after party. ( Yea, Velvet AGAIN!Lifeless person)

Still quite sober. Walking around with the glass in my hand made me look like a drunkard, but I'm not. Its all water! I'm just a poser!

After couple of shots of Tequila, Blow Job and a Flaming , we couldn't care less of what people may think of us.

Under normal circumstances, me and my friends will never pose with a peace sign. If we do the peace sign, its a sarcastic gesture.

Victor thanking the Almighty One for girls brushing against him.

Brian getting squashed by a bunch of drunkards.

Trying out the five cute poses of a Taiwanese girl. Only managed to do 2, the peace 2 finger and 5 finger pose.

Yes, I am digging my teeth.

And finally, I will be missing you Kat. Girls night out will never be the same without you.

P/s: I've never posed for so many pictures before. I'm so lethargic now that I feel nauseous from all the cam whoring.

Verb-alize name of a place

2007-05-31T08:40:00.000-07:00

What I meant is to make a verb out of the name of a place. Let me give some examples.
"Babes, are you Velveting tonight?" translates into "Girl, are you going to Velvet to club tonight?". Catch my drift? Most of the time it is used for clubbing (Well, for me at least). The word clubbing has become too overused and sometimes ostentatious. There's gotta be a way to substitute that term and that is to verb-alize the name of the club.

Club owners come up with names that can easily be verb-alize as well. I guess they did realize the fact that people actually use club names as a verb to refer instead of using the word clubbing.
"Dude, are you Rushing tonight?" meaning are you clubbing at Rush tonight. Ok Rush ain't that great but there is this place called Bed. Great verb to use, be it decent or indecent.

The Bed is a club located along the Asian Heritage Row and apparently there are actually beds in it where you can chill out. I have not been to Bed but I would want to go to Bed with someone (sounds indecent). So imagine this, a guy asking a girl out to The Bed on Friday night.

Guy: Hey babe, do you wanna go to Bed with me tonight?
Girl: Errr, yea, sure.
Guy: Great, I'll pick you up at 11 alright?
Girl: On your way, please pick up some condoms from 7 Eleven because I do not have any with me.
Guy: Huh?? We are going to The Bed along the Asian Heritage Row.
Girl: *embarassed*

So you see, an indecent proposal to know if a girl is willing to sleep with you.

If I were to open a club, it will most definitely have a name that can be a verb anytime.

Yes, Club Phar Quay! ( for the Americans, its spelt Phar Key).

Ah Beng: Kinky, you wanna fucky tonight?
Kinky: Can can. I want...hehehe.
Ah Beng: Oh Soli, I meant go to Phar Quey leh, what you thinking. Horny only call you meh.

Very soon, Phar Quey will be the talk of the town. Every guy will want to fucky with a girl and the girl will be so willing to get a fucky. Devising a pick up line would be so much easier with a popular club such as Phar Quey in town.

Photo Kaki

2007-05-28T07:30:00.000-07:00

I know I am slow. I just started taking a slight more interest in photography these days. I think its because of my new kick ass Canon PowerShot that I bought. So, I decided to get some ideas from this kick ass Malaysian Photography forum, photokaki.com

All the amateur and professional Malaysian photographers converge in this particular forum to exchange ideas and also to show off their masterpieces. But ,I do enjoy sifting through the pictures, getting ideas for an artistic shot. I have decided that I would start shooting portraits of old people.
Somehow there is something captivating about their expression which shows in the lines of their face.

Photo source : metamedia.stanford.edu

Photo source :http://dogjournals.blogspot.com

It is so common that people(especially guys) would make pretty girls their model for a photo shoot. Well, I guess it is only natural that guys would want to shoot only pretty girls instead of old people. There is no incentive to shoot old people right, guys? Old people are common, but sweet young thangs..*slurp*. You can't get them at clubs, but you get them to pose for you for free!

Photo source : photokaki.com

DAMN! Nose bleed! I can't believe she's Malaysian!

Baby Laughing

2007-05-25T07:16:00.000-07:00

I can't help but watching this video over and over again. The baby is utterly cute!
Makes me feel like having one of my own who is just as cute and intelligent.

A Name too hi-tech for themselves

2007-05-23T06:22:00.000-07:00

.
It is quite common for Chinese to give themselves a 'corporate' name when they step into the corporate world. Its like back in high school, his friends know him as Chau Beng, but in the corporate world he is known as Sergei Tan. Every time when I hear names like these, I get blown away immediately. You know, it is like they generate wind when they walk and it can blow you away because Sergei Tan is walking towards you!

I mingle around IT people and they find the most high tech names to give it to themselves. Sometimes it just does not suit their personality at all. But I respect that because in a way its a marketing tool. Imagine that you introduce your husband called Elvis Lee to all your colleagues. 2 years down the road, your colleagues will still remember that he is called Elvis, who wouldn't.

Same goes to a programmer that I have come across by the name of Lucas. Woah, George Lucas. That is big, and you gotta be big enough to carry that sort of name.
What about Linus Lau. Yea I met Linus at my office just the other day.

First thing that came to my mind, Linus Torvalds?? See, you gotta be somebody to carry the name Linus as well!

One day when I was rummaging through my name card holder, I came across this person called Bacon Ow! Imagine him going like this in Zouk:

Bacon: Hey, you look so hot dancing on the podium all night.
Chick: Oh really, Thanks! The name's Sherilynn. How about you?
Bacon: A beautiful name befits a beautiful person like you. My name is Bacon.
Chick: Ohh..hehheeh....hi Baaacon. Anyway, nice to meet you Baaacon, i gotta go, my boyfriend is waiting for me.
Bacon: *_*

As if the name card was not enough to keep me laughing all day. I came across another name card and it almost made me gasping for breath.
His name was Black Lim.

Black: Hi I am Black
Dude: Oh, then I'm White. LOL
Black: No really I am Black.
Dude: You blardy nigger wannabe. You are Chinese ok. That makes you Yellow.
Black: But I am Black.....

Why is it wet??

2007-05-21T08:19:00.000-07:00

These days, the city council has upped efforts on public toilets around town. Toilets like these can be seen in popular tourist spots in KL. This is an awfully good thing because public toilets to me are never a pleasant experience. Imagine stepping into an RM400k toilet. Feels like sitting on a toilet bowl made out of Swarovski crystal.

Images from hot-screensaver.com

Fuwahh..for RM1 a leak, it is worth it! Personally I haven't tried it before, because just down the road, Starhill Gallery has a tranquil toilet which is just as awesome and its FREE! So I would rather walk all the damn way there to take a leak. At least, doors in Starhill toilet will not open after 15 minutes, unlike the paid public toilet shown here. KL has the great toilets and best thing they are all dry and comfy. That is because the toilets are not equipped with a water hose to you- know- what.

Even the toilets in Midvalley are not equipped with the garden hose but somehow the floors seems a little wet. No, I am quite sure it is not misfired urine. Don't ask me how but you can tell the difference between urine and water. The only water source is from the toilet bowl itself. So could it be that some people actually bring in their own bottle of water to perform their rituals, OR (big possibility) they scoop the water out of the toilet bowl to WASH their intimate area?!
I am not mean but my brother has seen someone doing the same thing in the Men's.

BIG EWWWW!!!!

Tits in Bits

2007-05-17T08:18:00.001-07:00

Notice anything wrong with this signboard????

Yes, they are selling Tits in Bits! eewwwww. I just couldn't help but wondering that something is wrong with the signboard and finally realized it is spelt Tit-Bits instead of Tid-Bits.
So, anyone up for Tits in bits with Kacang Putih?

Glittering Black & Silver Nite

2007-05-13T00:23:00.000-07:00

That was the theme of the Dance Party. It was a great theme cos most aunties only have black in their wardrobe and that is the only color that can conceal all the unflattering body parts.
Some people were color blind and some went way over the top just to win the best dressed for the party.

Parties are always an excuse to go shopping for a new outfit. It is what ladies do best. There were a few outrages outfit that I managed to capture with my cam. Firstly, is the lady with the silver mop.

Well, at least she was happy that the mop doesn't weight down her whole head. But still, what was she thinking?!!

Another one that really super uber stood out was slutty aunty. Previously she was featured in one of my posts as the lady who ticked me off and was the laughing subject of everyone .
She is back again with the same type of outfit, only in a different color.

Previous party's outfit

Recent party outfit

Totally no sense of creativity or decency. At least the silver mop hair lady has a little bit of creativity which is a mop as hair extensions.

I got bored towards the end and couldn't stay for the announcement of the best dressed lady of the night. No pictures of that person.

Group picture of line dance teachers who were present during the event. Notice the cowboy in the middle? He reminds me so much of Henry Kane in the movie Poltergeist II. Henry Kane is the old, twisted, undead reverend in the sequel. A very disturbing character that gave me endless nightmares.

Notice that he does bear an uncanny resemblance to Reverend Henry Kane. Must be the hat, or the teeth, or the nose. Oh man, creepy.

Line dance party picture collection is never complete without a shot with scrawny little girl.

..and also with my gurus.

Girls Nite Out

2007-05-10T07:51:00.000-07:00

I love a girls night out. We get to have dinner together, club, and talk unimaginable issues that guys would not want to hear. We can let go and be ourselves without having people to judge us. That is what girls night out is all about. And then of course we do crazy stuff in clubs like judging guys around us or probably get a partner for one of the girls to hook up with.

Anyways, the night started out with dinner at Max! located along Tengkat Tung Shin. They have done a good job turning the colonial houses into a chic restaurant but still maintaining the old charms.

Food was pretty good. I would say the appetizers were the best. Service was really good and fast with very friendly well trained servers. The only downside is the lighting which I thought was a bit too bright. So, I wouldn't recommend it for a romantic couple's dinner.

Had cod fish in lemon butter sauce as my entree.

Alicia had Lamb cutlets in mint sauce. Oh yea, it was good too. (Picture a lil over exposed because of the flash)

And then of course my favs are the desserts. How can I resist a good gourmet dessert. So I had white chocolate pie, with chocolate flavored ice cream along with some syrup-soaked fruits.

And yea, we were stuffed after all the good food. Bleh. However, we were so psyched about going to Loft.

Me and my chicks. Make your choice. From left, Alicia, Chris,Pam,Kat,Mich. All single and quite available.

We were entertained to some models in Barbie skirts. I have my doubts on their gender somehow. One of them look too drag to be a female. The other has tattoos all over her body which is so not feminine at all. How do I confirm if they are truly females or a female in disguise?
My answer came later in the night.

They were just dancing right above us and one of them ( the more drag looking one) was wearing a really short flair skirt. So, we were sitting really right below them while the danced to entertain us. Armed with my camera, I had to take shots from below.

Dang, not the shot I wanted! Have to turn off my flash to make it less obvious that I am trying to take an upskirt shot.

Daphne after a few drinks, can do shameless things. FINALLY I got my shot!

It is confirmed, its a female. See, no bulge or balls sticking out from either sides of the panties. This holds true in Malaysia but not in Thailand. Given the benefit of doubt, I will take it that she is a true female.

So you think only guys do stuff like these, trying to take an upskirt shot? Well, its a girls nite out like I said and we will do just about anything.

Kids these days...

2007-05-08T07:23:00.000-07:00

....are very lucky! Yes, mummy and daddy will shower them with just about anything. My good friend, Alicia, in particular practically tsunamis her daughter with everything. Look at her birthday cake.

An erected Barbie doll in the cake. Her skirt is also part of the cake and can be eaten. So, is the doll amputated beneath the cake? Well, no, she is just bottomless and pantiless. If I were a mummy I would have done the same thing for my daughter...ha ha.I will have all things nice and sweet. Oh I how can I forget, the lucky kid.

The kid even know how to pose for the camera. How can you not pinch her cheeks. See, they have the same big round goo goo eyes. Baby Tricia will just grow up to be like her mummy.

I had big round marble eyes when I was young as well. But what happened??!! I am now well known for my slitty eyes.

Anyways when Tricia is 16, she will have the most kick ass birthday bash that I can imagine. Probably making an entrance in a helicopter, jewelries as door gifts and also the ultimate would most likely be a Veyron as her birthday present. I will await for that day to arrive.

Happy Birthday Tricia!

Tres Chic Fashion Show 2

2007-05-08T06:59:00.000-07:00

Found more photos in my camera that weren't uploaded. This is the problem when you have a memory card of Gigabytes. Tend to abuse it by snapping nonsense and storing it in there forever.

Almost bought this dress. But then again, I do not have any occasion to wear it to. I like to model, however the tattoo on her arm is ugly. Girls should never tattoo on the arm! Appear too masculine and intimidating ok. So if you wanna get a tattoo, I would say, at places that you can conceal during the day and reveal during the nights ( which includes the bedroom). Now that I would say is SEXAY!

Oh, this model is sooo sweet. But the dress is just bleh.

Nice day cocktail dress. Don't you think models have very bad postures?! I now realize that they are bound to get lower back problems. They actually lean back sitting on their abdomen and stressing their tail bone for the sake of parading the garment. Isn't standing straight the best way to show off the piece of garment?

No camel toe this time.

ASTRO joke

2007-05-05T02:46:00.000-07:00

The most ridiculous thing I heard from my colleague this week. This is a real life account of what actually took place. It is a conversation between a Tamil series addict mum and her son.

Son: Ma, do you know ASTRO has 9 new channels? You just need to download it!
Ma : Oh really? How to download?
Son: Just turn off your ASTRO for 10 minutes and waa laa, you have new channels to watch.
Ma : Oh jolly good! Turn it off then!

Son turns off TV and decoder for 10 minutes and turn it back on.

Ma : Waaa, 24 hr Tamil series channel. A dedicated Indian music channel too. Now I am glued to ASTRO. This is great!
Son: Yes, enjoy then.

Son goes out to grab something and when he came back, his mum and aunt was reading the papers with the TV and ASTRO off. They were anxiously looking at the time as well.

Son : Ma, I thought you loved the new channels? Why did you turn the TV off?!
Ma : Son, just now you turned ASTRO off for 10 minutes and we had 9 channels. So I was thinking if we turned it off for an hour, can you imagine the amount of channels we will get! Maybe 50!

Son : *baffled*

Yes I am baffled as well. I thought only comic authors can come up with theories like that.

How to Flirt

2007-05-02T22:56:00.000-07:00

Another one of my observation during the clubbing sessions. I was observing and trying to identify if a girl is flirting with a guy. Sadly, I am quite the 'kayu' and can never master the art of flirting or the art of seduction. One thing I learned, you don't need to be beautiful to be a seductress! Woo hoo. Now that is one good piece of motivation.
Ok, I had got all my observations jotted down in my lil' black book.

How to Flirt ( For Girls):

- Maintain good eye contact because it shows confidence. Also smile with your eyes when flirting to show your interest in the guy. Only make seductive eyes later in the conversation or if the person is drunk.

- Compliment the guy on maybe his shirt, or sense of humor. Don't compliment on his stature yet, worst still, telling him that he has a big package.

- Keep your body language open and inviting. ie: through the conversation, touch the person's arms lightly when telling a story. Maintain good eye contact at all times but don't stare cos it is uncomfortable. Act shy once in a while by staring down and then looking back at him.

- Initiate stimulating conversation. Ask open-ended questions maybe about the flirtee's family, pet, job, hobbies.....etc. Do not ask about his sex life or whether he has or does not have foreskin intact.

- open up more about yourself to give him more reason to be interested in you. However, don't go on and on and dominate the conversation. The goal is to intrigue and not to bore.

- Always be alert at looking out for the flashing red light. If detected ( meaning he is uninterested) then make your exit gracefully.

- Pay attention to personal space. If you are successful at gently touching the arm of the flirtee, that means he has no issues with personal space and you have broken that barrier. Otherwise, watch out for the red flashing light that you have violated the person's personal space.

- Finally progress in your flirting if everything seems ok. Lead him into closing the deal be it a date , a dance , a kiss , or if there is *ehem* sexual connection then proceed with a proper rendezvous.

Flirting is supposed to be fun and healthy. Without you realizing it, you can be flirting sometimes just to get attention. Couples need to flirt with each other every now and then to maintain that romance and spark in their life. Singles flirt to prospect their future partner.
Flirting is harmless fun, so just enjoy and do it responsibly. Yes, Drink responsibly and Flirt responsibly.

Tres Chic Fashion Show

2007-04-28T03:07:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday was quite an exciting day. I was invited to a boutique opening at Bangsar called Tres Chic. It is a boutique by a friend of mine and quite an exclusive one as well. I was impressed by the entire set up which includes a flat screen for the boyfriends or husbands. Boutiques these days do justice to the boyfriends because they have a nice seating area with car magazines and even better, a plasma screen that is tuned in to ESPN!

And so, the event was more like a cocktail party with fashion show. Fashion show is always the highlight at any event. Models *slurps*. Some people are always hoping for a wardrobe malfunction in fashion shows because as you know they rush to get changed. So feast your eyes with some pics I managed to take.

Psychedelic printed dress. A bit too bold to be worn to a wedding dinner.

This is quite a sexy number. Tube dress with the little accents that really compliments the outfit. I think this can be worn to a nice cocktail party.

Never knew green could look quite good. I would say it is a nice clubbing dress. Yea, the type you would wear to Velvet.

Ah....my favorite the pant suit. Very sexy, sleek and totally oozes sex kitten aura! Only problem is when you go to toilet. Gotta practically strip yourself just to pee.

Very 70's print. I think it is a very stand out piece to be worn to any wedding dinners. ( I can only think of wedding dinners cos they are the only dinners I have been attending lately).

Overall, it was a good show. However, my only complaint was that the models were not wearing strings. All of them were not wearing strings which was not so flattering when wearing a figure hugging dress. Eekksss, visible panty line. And also never wear panties that are made of tissue like material because when wearing a really tight and thin pants, the line shows. Meaning, there is a visible camel toe which is eeeksss, not sexy as compared to cleavage or pointy nips.

I guess the model didn't realize her camel toe was visible.

Tres Chic Boutique
No.10 Jln Telawi 5, (Above Finnegans)
Bangsar Baru, 59100, KL

Tel: 03- 2282 5202
Website: www.treschic.com.my
Business hours: Mon - Sundat (11am-9pm)

Female anatomy

2007-04-25T07:19:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: This post is intended to be educational. Viewer discretion is strongly advised.

To all the asian sistas of mine, don't fret over your not so well endowed chest because what you are about to see will make you think that you are truly gifted.

You do know that the bags of fats on the chest comes in various shapes and sizes and after checking this website out I truly understand the meaning of various SHAPES and SIZES!
I must say that I was amazed by how these people actually took the courage to share this with the whole world and make women around the world appreciative of what they have.

We are, very well (I think I can confidently say that) exposed to what a normal or a perfect breast should look like. This image, sad to say, has been etched in the mind of every men. They have not been exposed to reality and reality to them is just small or a flat chest. Well, it is time to open up your eyes and your mind to what REAL women are made of.

Small breasts with large areolas. Should be fine after child birth.

True papaya. This was where the term Papaya Club was derived. I would not want to have big boobs that will sag so much. Thank you God for small boobs.

Asymmetrical boobs. Tough to find a bra that will fit both the boobs. I have no idea how this person wears her bra. This person would need a boob reduction.

Brace yourself for the ultimate.

The tubular breasts. Women with these kind of breast will have problems with milk supply and need to supplement the infant with formula.This is the most peculiar breasts that I have seen. Never knew shape like this existed. Don't think any bra can cater for such a shape.

So ladies, now do you appreciate your boobs? And men, now do you appreciate your gf's boobs? So stop the bitch-whine about small boobs and think about these women with oversized boobs.

Drawing legs on a snake

2007-04-23T04:41:00.000-07:00

I don't know much Chinese but I have heard of this proverb. Add legs to a snake after you have finished drawing it. I think this is the direct translation of the very famous proverb. This is indeed true!
I was assigned to design a simple brochure for a new dance studio and knowing me I like the sophisticated brushed metal look.
So, with my hopeless skill in arts, I came out with this.

Yea, not very professional but heck, free service! So I have control over the entire design.
Since the studio is in Klang, our target audience are mostly Chinese educated, so part of the content had to be translated to Chinese. Fair enough, I handed the file over to the translator who I expect would only insert the Chinese characters in spaces provided.
Guess what came back to me.

A horrendous attempt to 'beautify' and enhance the brochure!

1) WTF is with the butterflies scattered all over?! Looks so pasar malam ok.
2) He thought he want to make it neat by drawing a border around the brochure. Looks like one of those posters for dodgy karaoke clubs. (papaya farm clubs)
3) Redundancy! Blind is it, can't read the big ass FunMatic Dance Club banner. He has to add it another time at the right hand corner. And it is in Times New Roman font.
4) Lift is Definity Available??!!! Can't even copy word to word. OMG.
5) Almost totally removed the gradient effect to make it even more Pasar Malam.

Disappointed when people don't plagiarize well. Feel like using a DE to shoot him!

Foreign objects in food

2007-04-21T22:56:00.000-07:00

This weekend was all about food food. I still couldn't get over the quesadillas. I didn't have breakfast and lunch the next day. It actually lasted me for 2 whole meals.
Anywayz, I was so hungry just now after a session of intensive cardio.
Came back home and gobbled a whole big packet of nasi lemak. Oh yea, it was mouth watering.

While chewing my food, I felt something long and hard. Tried to bite it harder thinking it might be an anchovy from the sambal but just couldn't break it. So I decided to spit it out and to my horror it was this thing.

What the hell! A rusted stapler! Good thing I did not swallow it or else it would be cutting through my internal organs. Who to sue? The struggling nasi lemak mak cik? Damn it. Totally spoil my appetite. An effing rusted stapler! How the hell did it get into the nasi lemak?! I am so pissed. If it was KFC I'll be glad to bring them to court. Aih, being a typical Malaysian, I will just not buy from that stall again because I can't sue the mak cik for money or any sort of compensation.

MSG tastes so good!

2007-04-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

I had the feast of the week today at Chilli's. Had my favorite Quesadillas + sour cream + Guacamole.

Flicked from here

I think I ate like 7 quarters of Quesadillas and that is a lot to me because I don't eat very much on average. Now I am so stuffed. First two bites, it was heavenly. 3rd , 4th I was stuffed. Subsequently, it was suffering. I still can't believe I ate so much in a day.
After that hefty meal I was as thirsty as a camel that crossed the dessert. I finished a can of green tea in a gulp (hence Down In A Gulp), drank a big glass of water and still I felt really thirsty.
Reminds me of the same feeling I get after chugged on a bowl of prawn noodle.

You can never quench this kind of thirst by just drinking water. It is only by eating a ton of fruits that you can eliminate the dryness of the tongue.
I realized that the Quesadilla is full of MSG, Monosodium Glutamate. The culprit that makes us crave more of the certain kind of food.

MSG is everywhere especially in Chinese cooking. Malaysians can never live without MSG in their food. That is why we never do find Singapore food tasty in any way. Everything is just bland and tasteless. Imagine, prawn noodles without MSG, Bak Kut Teh without MSG,Mee Hun Kueh without MSG, life would be meaningless. We are just too accustomed to overly tasty food that we can't live without MSG flavoring in our cuisine.

Ajinomoto is a company formed to manufacture and to market MSG. Modern commercial MSG is produced by fermentation of starch, sugar beets, sugar cane, or molasses. These are natural flavor enhancers and is considered to be safe by FDA. However, in 1995 the FDA reported that an unknown percentage of the population may react to MSG and develop MSG symptoms ie chest pain, headache, nausea...

Our Health Ministry has yet to regulate the usage of MSG especially in hawkers. They use the cheapest form of MSG which is probably the most harmful form. But without MSG, their dishes won't be able to sell so well. As long as it doesn't hurt their pockets , they will continue using MSG till the end of days. So again, what are our government doing? Looking into the wrong areas, ie: banning fast food ads. Excuse me, when are you going to impose labeling foods containing MSG when people in other countries have already been doing it for umpteen years.

All I can say, if the food is too tasty to be true, better watch out! I'd rather have less tasty food and not suffer later rather than enjoying overly tasty food.

p/s: I am still chugging on jugs of water like a camel.

Cool Indian Lecturer

2007-04-17T08:37:00.000-07:00

Do you realize that Indian people are so good at math and unhumanly equations that normal beings cannot comprehend? Yes, they are so fluent at engineering especially electrical engineering equations and computer science theories that baffles you. It is no wonder even their language is complicated. They are super humans indeed.

So, it is not surprising that almost 50% of the engineering faculty are made up of Indians in universities all around the world. They are so good with theories that it belittles you.
It is no wonder students get frustrated and write the weirdest comments about the professors at the end of every semester. I was once a frustrated student and almost felt like shooting myself every time the professors starts rattling like an automatic M16.

This dude reminds me so much of my professor Govindarasu. A becomes 'yay', S becomes 'yes', and R becomes ' Arer'. Every time he speaks, we laugh at his accent. You gotta watch this video and it gets better towards the mid. I've been watching it over and over again for the entire day and still laugh like it was my first time.

The elderly are overtaking us

2007-04-15T03:31:00.000-07:00

I party with the mature women. Yes, but not the sorta drinking, smoke out, immoral behavior kinda party. They go to a pig out and dance party. It is a line dance party but not all the songs played in the party are country western. In fact, country western music is only a mere 10% of the entire song list.

Aunties as we prefer to refer them,are not as conservative anymore these days. You think they still wear tights with a straight cut top? No, they wear low-waisted diamante jeans with sometimes sleeveless tops and boots. You think they only go out shopping at all warehouse clearance?No, they go to line dance parties and dance till way past midnight.

Like I mentioned, they do not dance to country western music anymore. Country western is boring. Billboard top 40 is the in thing! So you can actually find aunties dancing to pussy cat dolls, Justin Timberlake, Petey Pablo (Not stuff like Chicane, Paul Van Dyke or Eric Prydz...but I am waiting for the day when someone choreographs a dance to that!)

See, they dance to Beep! Yea, the bald guy is like practically walking through the song. Mind you, he is the choreographer of this dance and it is VERY popular over here. As you can see, hot music, easy dance steps gain popularity fast.

Also, Aunties are fancier than the younger people in parties. They wear bling bling newsboy caps and tops that shows off their bling bling bras! *faints*

Bling Bling newsboy cap with a glittery top.

The bling bling bra top is somewhere there.

So, the next time don't be shocked if an auntie says she knows Petey Pablo's music because they dance to the same kind of music like we do. Or maybe they might even say they love Pussycat Dolls. Or worst, if the auntie says blogging is her past time! *argh* Now I don't feel that young anymore.

Picture taken from Lao Zha Bor blog ( Lao Zha Bor is Hokkien for Old Lady). She is a Singaporean blogger and apparently a very popular one.

Glamorous Designer Bags

2007-04-11T08:02:00.000-07:00

These cheap looking bags were spotted at the Spring 07 Fashion show and it was one of the 'cool' items on the runway. A Louis Vuitton bag it is! All I can say, what was going through the designer's mind when he was deep down in meditation to get an inspiration for his design. Did the folks at LV fire him after that?
He must have been to da Chinese hood.

I was thinking of trying my hands on bag designing as well. I think I might have the talent for designing. Here goes!
Waa laa. Limited Edition Dior Whack Plastic Shopper Bag
Watch out for it on the runways this Fall '07. It might just be a hit in the wet markets all over the country.

Sunshine the Movie

2007-04-10T17:47:00.000-07:00

In 50 years time, the sun is dying and the human race will die with it. Our last hope is a space ship with a crew of 8 to carry a device that will kick start the sun. Along the way of course there are mishaps and fatalities. Will they succeed? Watch Sunshine, starring Datuk Michelle Yeoh and a few other obscure actors.

Really got to bow down to Michelle Yeoh for really making it. You will hear her swear for this first time in this movie. It goes something like, Maddafakka, or muthafukka, can't spell it out. I don't know but I am pretty sure she did say it! Unfortunately, her character died in a very cheap way eventhough she was one of the last crew to die. At least, she was important enough to die towards the end.

I will be ranting more than raving about this movie. Shallow facts, amateurly written script, bad effects. And what is a space movie without an alien on board to ruin everything. That is what the script writers thought about the last minute in the movie. They have decided to throw in a naked Freddie Kruger as the alien! Not actually Freddie himself, but the alien was created in the likes of him. He miraculously hopped on board with the remaining crew and start ruining their mission to kick start the sun.
Summary: Everybody on board died but they managed to deliver the WMD to the core of the sun.

Movie reviewed : Sunshine
Cast : Datuk Michelle Yeoh, .......
Daphne says : Rather shoot myself.

No more rave virgin

2007-04-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

My first ever rave experience was on Saturday when I attended the Speedzone rave at KL Tower.
I am so not a trance neither am I a techno person, but I do think that Chicane is HAWT! Anywayzz, I dragged my lazy ass down to KL Tower with Yu May & Co. Yea, since I had so much of fun during my last trip in Penang, she actually brought Penang to me in KL! HAWTness!

In my mind, rave is all about dance, heat, and sweat and the occasional molesters. Since we have the VIP passes, we didn't have to mingle with the crowd. HAWT! So we made our way to the VIP parking which wasn't that grand. Nevermind about that.

The entrance where the VIP Shuttle was waiting to pick us up. Yu May again ( very popular character in my blog)

The Party Bus aka VIP Shuttle.

Seriously had no idea how freaking far up the party is. The non VIPs had to hike up hill and that is no easy task when you're all made up in your high heels to party. I would shoot myself if I had to walk up that hill.

Finally we arrived at the parteeyyy. Like I expected, heat and sweat. Can't imagine dancing the whole night through without the pill cause I would rather jump off the KL Tower than dancing in the heat. Alas, we still had to walk through the crowd before getting to our landing. Brushed a few sweaty head and arms on the way.

Among the commoners

Then our excursion ended at the PM VIP Bar! Woah, am I gonna party with the Prime Minister as well?! Ahaha Our Prime Minister raves, imagine him shuffling. Pak Lah the Shuffler!
Was so glad there were fans at the VIP Lounge! I was hot, sweaty and pissed and needed a big fan to blow me away.

I feel intimidated by them. Yu May, Me, Mindy and Li Fung.

Hmm, VIPs are boring people. They just sit, drink and don't party at all. Whatever it is, we had the best seats in da house! Yea, the best view of the entire party. What's best is that we had free flow of alcohol all night long. Now, that is HAWTness!

Me and Yu May. Yea I looked so washed out and sweaty. Been to hell and back.

DJ Yoji Biomehanika in action. Pretty Hard Techno.

Well, at least it was worth it. The performance was quite an experience. I can now appreciate trance music a little bit more but I still can't appreciate shufflers.

Me and the great Gin blogger.

After 15 minutes of cooling our asses with a drink, we headed down to our cars. And of course, any excursion to KL would not be complete without paying homage to Velvet.

Had the satisfy the Penangite's insatiable appetite for clubbing

What's best, I got my ass burnt by a stray ciggie. Good thing I had buns of steel to withstand the heat. What is a trip without a souvenir.

Please snip it off

2007-04-06T05:40:00.000-07:00

And so, I was sitting in front of my workstation totally immersed in my work when suddenly I felt a disgusting presence behind me. The sound of heavy breathing came together with the stench of garlic breath made me jumped out of my skin. It almost killed my olfactory senses instantly.
Turning back slowly, I felt like I was going to face a half decomposed mummy. At least it wasn't so horrific, but what I saw was bad!

Well he's close to any of those Japanese creepies. Yes, extraneous nostril hairs!
Guys, this is one thing you have to really take note besides the excessive facial hair which makes you look homeless. Nostril hairs are more often than not, ignored! Why can't you just include this into your daily beauty regime. Just like shaving, I think that guys should also snip off their extraneous nostril hair.

Can you imagine when this cute guy is about to kiss his date and suddenly she decides to open her eyes to peep on him and the first thing she saw was the excessive nostril hair so close to touching her nose! So the cute guy blew his chance in getting laid.

So please, the next time you stand in front of the mirror, just try tilting your head up a bit and you will realize the amount of hair in your nose could actually develop a new strain of virus. And yes, it is a bacteria rainforest in there.

Just do us girls a favor and pay more attention to the rainforest in your nose. It is worst when you have icicles stuck in between hairs during a very bad flu outbreak.

Unfortunate

2007-04-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

Yes, I like my top. Bought it just for Chinese New Year. It is red, satiny and feminine.

Niamah!

I don't like my top now. Not stepping into the store that I bought it from. Don't wanna risk myself bumping into another girl wearing the same top. If that day happens, the only words coming out of my mouth will be all foul hokkien words.
Ok no more Cats Whiskers, Full House Collection and Little Black Book boutiques.

Watch out for that crack!

2007-04-03T06:49:00.000-07:00

The perils of cracks- Never ignore a crack on the wall of a building. Mega structures have collapsed and it will happen if people just continue to pass it off as a mere crack.
Cracks draw attention.

Well, butt crack in particular. You see, jeans or pants these days are designed to sit low on the hips which is inches from the *toot* *toot* area. Low riders they call it. Sexy it is but when it comes to the rear, it can sometimes be an unpleasant sight.

If you know you're gonna expose the crack, please wear a jeweled thong or maybe cement the crack. At least something to compensate for the ugly sight. Exposing the top of the rear is unflattering but exposing the bottom cheeks of it is seductive!

Oh yea, you could almost taste her.

MILF Line Dance Pageant

2007-03-31T21:46:00.000-07:00

The first of its kind pageant in Malaysia. The MILF Line Dance Awards! Well, that is my version of it, it is actually Mum Line Dance Pageant. Just a preview of the contestants of that night. The contestants are split into 2 categories; age 30-40 and age 40-50. Its only fair to the grandma to compete with those in her own league.

Contestant number 5 looks pretty hot and she's 34! She was Miss Photogenic.

Contestant 11 the Champion in this category

Category 2 Mums. Only comment, they are all Estee Lauder shots.

Contestant 10 is a grandma. Realize how touched up all their pictures are.

So the pageant started off with the parade of evening gowns and Q&A session. Evening gowns were sponsored by an obscure bridal house in Pekan Klang. Anyhowzz, Q&A session was really scripted. It was not an impromptu thing because that would send most of the contestants jumping off the stage. So, all answers were memorized and they just regurgitated their script.

Nice pose. But I don't think she won any title.

She was very sweet in the princessy gown.

Sawadeeka. Thai national from Category 2.

Winner of Category 2. She is very popular apparently and dances well too.

I'll leave it to your discretion

My fav. 59 yr old grandma still looking hawt! GILF not only MILF! She came in 2nd by the way.

"Wanna head down to Cititel with me after this, MILFs?"

After all the evening gown parading, I was thinking swimsuit will be up next! Wooahh, MILF in swimsuit.

Unfortunately, sports wear was on the agenda, but it was close to swimsuit. She has a lot of balls baring her mid section on stage.
See the reason why she won pageant. Super MILF I tell you. Cheer leader outfit on a mum will make any uncle drool.( Uncle's fantasy to, oh well, leave it to your imagination) By the way, she has very defined abs which shy to say I don't!

Overall it was quite an ambitious and successful event. It was very interesting seeing mums and grandmums doing their struts and some stunts ( yes, someone did the split). I must say those ladies have guts the size of Titanic to go up there parading in evening gowns , and dancing. It is definitely not an easy feat for most as more than 80% are homemakers but they did earn the respect from the crowd. If it was I, I would rather jump off the stage and claim medical insurance.
I think the pageant will be an annual affair like all pageants. This however definitely beats Miss Kelab Goon Choo, Miss Bintang Palace, Miss Kelab De Vegas, Miss Papaya Farm Club hands down. I guess my next review should be on Miss Papaya Farm Club.

Displace too much water when going for a swim.

Oh, and how can I forget to post a picture of the photographer/driver. Being the youngest, I had to chauffeur the aunties from Klang to Cheras AND take their photos.

Saffron

2007-03-30T09:18:00.000-07:00

Its my mum's birthday and I decided to take her out for a decent meal. Been researching and finally settled at Saffron at One Bangsar. I have been passing by this row of restaurants at Bangsar Hill many times but have yet to checkout the area until today.

So what does Saffron serve? Well, a mixture of Mediterranean, Italian, Spanish and Latin cuisine. Firstly, strolling along the row of restaurants was breath taking. Reminds me of the houses in Ames where there is a big lawn with the fenceless concept. I hope that my house could be like that someday because I don't like living behind the bars ( who does anyway).

This is the Hideki Japanese restaurant. Apparently it is pretty good. I like the little Japanese garden in front of the restaurant.

Finally arrived at Saffron which is located almost at the top of the hill. Not as big as Hideki but it is cozy.
Naiiicee. .. They have tables behind those curtains. So you can actually draw the curtains close and ber- hanky panky there. Perfect couple dining!

After the long hike, we were starvin'. So I was impatient to go through the menu and asked them for their recommendation.

Firstly, Lamb cutlets with seasoned Mayonnaise. Lamb was tender, grilled to give it the slightly smoky flavor and well seasoned with herbs to mask the smell. Tasted like the best thing in the world because I was hungry.

Then there was my favorite seafood Paella. Ooooo Olives make me go crazy. Paella is a Spanish dish normally cooked on Sundays. Paella is Spanish for frying pan which explains why it is served in a frying pan. Lazy Spaniards. Its just like serving fried rice with the wok together or Char Kuey Teow with the entire wok. Imagine what kind of reaction would you get from the older people if you serve dishes together with the wok. Would like to call Paella , Spanish Fly Lice.

Good recommendation by the server. Seafood stew. Has lots of tomatoes in the broth giving it the kick of sourness. I know I drank till I licked the platter.

Overall, food was great maybe giving a 8/10 rating. Ambiance was great too but I'll just give a 7/10 rating. It is not bad, its just that I have higher expectations :) Overall, I would say its a must-try place.

Saffron
The One Bangsar
(Signforce F&B Concepts Concepts Sdn Bhd)
Pavillion 2, One Bangsar
63G Jalan Ara, Bangsar Baru
52100, Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia

Phone: 603-2287 1158

Fax: 603-2287 7158

Lastly, just wanna show off what bag I carried to match my outfit..haha. Yea, my Baby Phat bag. The one and only blue barrel bag I have which is a little bit of ghetto and funky. My alter ego, Tachelle, adores Baby Phat.

Trash Tossing Drivers

2007-03-29T08:36:00.000-07:00

Don't you just despise people who throw trash out of their car. I get very annoyed and if I were to drive a Steel reinforced car, I would just crash that idiot. I mean like we are supposed to be a very moralized society. Doesn't Moral teach you not to toss trash everywhere? ( Jangan membuang sampah di merata-rata tempat) That goes to show we have lousy teachers, period.

I believe these offenders are most likely from the outskirts of the city like Pulau Ketam, Pulau Carey or some Kampung for that matter. You can do that in your kampung but not in the city. Imagine a hot chick strutting by the road side and all of a sudden she was slapped by a styrofoam box of left over rojak! Poor chick just lost her dignity.

Well, what to do but to relegate them to a piece of booger. Fine would not help. I know what will traumatize them to a point they will develop a phobia of throwing trash out of the car.

The moment the offender tosses the trash, immediately slap a used sanitary pad on their windscreen. Or better still, aim to throw into their car. If teachers can't teach them, I think sanitary pad is a much more effective lesson and will be remembered for life! Yes, you will not forget the day when someone throws a used pad at you.

Best for voluptuous fullness

2007-03-28T05:34:00.000-07:00

Butts, armpits... of cos boobs is next on the list! Came across this full paged ad in Cleo. Wow, bust enhancement minus the pills, surgery and injections. Ok, got my attention to read further.

According to the ad, they claim to use only pure essential oils and it is massaged gently into the breast tissues to make it firm, shapely and full. They also state that "Best of all, your self-confidence will increase enormously. And the deep shadow of your cleavage will be real. Unlike the fake curves of a push-up bra that promptly disappear the moment you take it off"

Very clever way of using words like enormous with confidence. So girls with puny boobs has puny confidence? Deep shadow of cleavage, I can fake that by air brushing a cleavage shadow.

Why do girls desire bigger boobies? First thing, you'll get stared and gawked at making you lose confidence. With big boobies you can't really dance that well, it sorta restricts movements. In dancing, moves has to be executed swiftly . So, with the boobs in the way, it takes quite an effort to actually ,say, execute a full turn. Also, when dancing with a partner especially the tango, your boobs will always be in contact with the man's body. Best to wear Madonna's cone bra in situations like these.
It is not going to be a good sight when jogging. Every bounce the boob makes, it creates a big downward force making it sag. So if you keep running till the time you hit 80, I think the boobies might just be the same level as the tummy. Eliminates the need to wear a bra, belt is sufficient.

So why do people perceive having big boobies as sexy? It's just two extra piece of fats hanging from our body. Why aren't small boobies sexy as well? Because we resemble the body of a man that men find it gay to ogle at what seems like another man's chest? But it is just fats in bags. The society has got the wrong perception putting young girls under pressure to get larger chest.

Anywayzzz, Rm188 for 6 sessions is cheap and reasonable but I don't wanna pay someone to touch my boobs man. What if they have some kinda hidden camera somewhere or they actually have a side business. Allowing men to look through a peep hole into the massage parlor for maybe 50 bucks per 5 minutes? Scary but can be true. Best way is to DIY utilizing youtube of course. And you thought youtube only broadcasts stupid videos.

It is like kneading a dough making mee hoon kueh out of it.

Hooters In Malaysia

2007-03-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

Ha Ha. Got ya attention! Nope I don't have any news that Hooters is coming to Malaysia. Just wondering when and will it ever. If Singapore can have Hooters why can't Malaysia (*stammer stammer*) I don't believe that there are no well-endowed Malaysian girls around. Just go to Velvet and you can find quite a number.

Singaporean Hooters. Not bad. I bet Malaysian girls can do just as good if not better.

Texas Hooters. Nose bleed. However, push up bra does wonders!

Are there less or virtually no rape cases in Singapore? So the men are really satisfied in Singapore ehh. What is wrong with Malaysian men? Too much pent up sexual energy waiting to be vented resulting in rape and worst, incest. What to do, we are governed by third world country laws and we will remain third world till 2020.

So if a place like Hooters were to open in KL, the girls will probably get raped in the restaurant itself. However, we can improvise it to follow our culture.

No Hooters in the world can top that.

Visible Grandmother Panties

2007-03-25T07:52:00.000-07:00

If you decide to wear white pants, wear strings underneath it. Briefs or rather grandma's panties is sooo not flattering especially worn under skin tight bottoms. I think that wearing strings under tight bottoms gives men the impression that the lady is panty-less, teasing in a way. Like peekaboo, it's there and you can't get it.

Grandma Panties. Panties that could cover your navel and conceal the tummy.

The way to go. Satin thong. Gives that seductive butt line when wearing tight pants.

What is worst is a girl wearing skin tight skirt wearing auntie panties but with one side of the panties eaten up by the butt and it shows from the outside! Aih, too bad didn't have my cam with me at that time to proof what I am trying to mean.

The point I am getting to is ,if you're gonna wear something tight, make sure you wear strings under it or else just don't wear anything, ha ha. Make sure the bladder is not weak when going panty-less, don't want drips to be visible on the material. Grandma panties are meant for aunties (or aunties who are grandmas) who do not like the string-in-butt sensation and also auntie need the extra lift and support la.

So in conclusion, auntie cannot wear skin tight or almost see through pants. How unfortunate that I saw one, while doing some floor exercises this morning. Yes, the auntie not only has mouth diarrhoea but was wearing a semi transparent tights with of course grandma panty. What's worst, I got the most horrific view of it. We were doing push ups on all fours. So basically knees and hands are on the ground and when going down the butt tends to get pushed out and stretched a little to accommodate the forward motion. To my disgust, I saw a gigantic piece of protruding saggy butt clad in black grandma panty under a skin tight beige exercise tights. I wish I had my cam at that time but it will be awkward if I was taking photos while exercising and what more of an auntie's butt?!!

- Terrible, Horrible, Vegetable-

Oppression in Single-Sex Schools

2007-03-22T08:36:00.000-07:00

Students in single-sex schools are oppressed whether they realize it or not. Source of this oppression is the lack of interaction with the opposite sex. Disturbingly, this oppression leads to unexplained Neanderthal behavior seen in mostly single-sex boy schools.

I gotta admit that I used to grow up in a single-sex school and I am proud of it. Long live Convent!

Class photo taken 9 yrs ago. Can't believe it has been 9 years since I wore the blue pinafore.

Being in an all girl school was pretty much like keeping us in our comfort zone. We were free to express our feelings, discuss womanly issues openly, change in classroom openly after PE, climb around in our skirts....etc. We always wondered how girls in co-ed schools must have felt so embarrass growing up ( including certain parts of the body) and how uncomfortable they are in the presence of guys with their ever watchful eyes. At least being in an all girl school, we can actually pass around a sanitary pad as an autograph and not be embarrassed about it!

Little did we know that due to the up bringing in a single-sex school, we fail to develop social skills and communication with the opposite sex. Girls are exposed to only girls day in day out. What is worst is that the principal herself cuts off any communication with the all boys school. So to say, guys are not allowed into the premise at any time . Unless, there is a competition( academic ones) organized at a district level. I think that is the only time the girls has a glimpse of the opposite sex and they go whispering, snickering and giggling.

On the other hand, girls visiting an all boys school would be a terrifying and traumatic experience. I really mean it. Naturally girls at that age are shy, what more from an all girl school who hardly interact with the opposite sex. This however is not the situation for the guys. The oppression in an all boys school results in inappropriate social behavior which make them seem uncultured and uncouth. Upon setting foot into the school compound, the girls will be greeted by a host of caged animals. Specifically monkeys and rats.

Yes, the guys will literally climb on the window grills of the classroom like this monkey and start acting like one. This does not happen in one class but the entire school. Oh and not forgetting the rats that follows. So, you will know why are girls are intimidated by all boys school and eventually become sexist. We like attention but not from animals you know.

Part of the dangers of being in a single-sex school is the tendency to lean towards homosexuality. I have seen enough to be convinced that if you don't educate the kids as young as 13 yrs old, they will never understand why they feel a certain way. You know, we girls like to raise money by doing dedications(selling little items like chocolates with a small note sent to their special ones, normally the opposite sex, or sometimes disturbingly the same sex). I know I like to raise money for my own cause through these dedications. You will be surprised that the girl who looks the most butch gets quite a lot of these dedications from their female admirers begging to have a chance to be her 'pet sister'. Likewise, the pretty ones will also get dedications from their secret admirers pleading for acceptance as a 'pet sister' too. Pet my ass, so ridiculous!
So you see, you can separate us from the guys but you can't stop us from developing feelings for a girl! I used to get irked by all these secret admirer and pet sis bull crap back then. It all boils down to the poor education system that we have (of course poor la, can't even decide on a freaking official language to use in all subjects).

I am not against single-sex schools, it is great like I mentioned. However, teachers gotta be a bit more flexible when it comes to developing social skills. The last thing we want is to develop a group of feminist who thinks God is a Girl and a bunch of homos patronizing Liquid every weekend. Just allow some interaction through well organized events to promote more awareness. Otherwise, even form 5 girls may have the idea that they can get pregnant by a touch from a male.

Totally ruins your sex life

2007-03-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

A partially bald guy and a woman in tudung kissing passionately. Does this turn you on? Absolutely not! This video will be traumatic to your sex life. Brrrrr, sends chills down my spine.

Post mortem of this video. First and foremost I think it is quite genuine and not staged. I mean like what would they get out of it apart from the religious teachers trying to hunt down their asses. Best part is the bald guy is in a suit and the woman in tudung! I bet he is somebody in possibly a corporate or a government department. So ,how is a supposed intelligent, highly respected man be oblivious to CCTVs in lifts. Some people are just so technology-phobic.

Did you see the way they kiss?! HAhaha, it is so amateur. I was expecting some Hollywood steamy kissing scene but this is urrggh, just lip locking. I guess this happened right after lunch after having few petai and sambal. You know when you lock your lips and slowly open your mouth and realize that the person has bad breath, then retract your tongue and close your mouth and continue lip locking to avoid being rude. I think that was what happened. And the groping was just too sudden and awkward, HAHA! Oh no, I am having nightmares already. Realize he grabbed her boobs right after the door shut? It looked like he wanted to pluck a mango off a tree. He definitely do not know how to tease and please a woman. Just grab , bang and go!

I think the person in the controls room was having a good time zooming in and out while the couple was making out. If it was me, I would turn on the loud speaker and hook up the microphone to some porn just to arouse them more!

So next time pay close attention to scandals in your office as it can get quite juicy and interesting like this one.

Wedding streak begins!

2007-03-19T07:33:00.000-07:00

Here comes the bride,
All dress in white,
Here comes the bride with the big back side!

I was taught to sing this song when I was young. So, this little rhyme have always been in my head ever since. Ask me and I'll sing you more cheeky songs I've picked up during my childhood :)
Sigh, the beginning of a wedding streak. Yes, I know I'm old when all the people around me start getting married. Geee, why can't you guys just wait for a little while. I mean you've got your entire life to be stuck with each other , why start so early? Enjoy singledom! Anyways, whatever that makes you happy.

Li Bing and Len's wedding was a very pleasant and an entertaining one.(No ,Li Bing no big back side, in fact it's purrrfect!) Something different from most weddings that I have been to. Love her dresses and absolutely love her photos. Look at their website and you will know that her dream wedding came true.

Anywayzz, what is a wedding without photos and what is a wedding without reunion.

Westin, a luxurious venue to have a wedding. Even their chocolate gift box looks like a watch casing! I was deceived indeed.

Mysterious photo of Garren and Y E. Testing out the Color Accent feature of my Ixus 850IS

Samurai Sword Master Jickina and Yew Choong.

See Tau Kar Aik and See Tau Por Carol. Need security for your systems? Look for them.

Go Cyclones!

And there's the after party!

The girls on the dance floor of Velvet

I just took notice of someone peculiar in this picture.See the guy in white shirt at the back with his fists in boxing pose? Well, he is actually dancing! Yea man, remember my Happening Nerd post? There it is, a happening nerd and how do they dance? With their hands clenched, arms curled and constantly moving in a circular motion in no accordance to the rhythm. HAHA! You must think that I was one of those bullies picking on nerdy kids in school, pushing them around and hanging their bras on tree tops.

Please use deodorant hor..

2007-03-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

Very disturbing, I know

Encounter 1:

I was at this public toilet at a shopping complex waiting for my turn. So ,I was standing impatiently outside the cubicle because not only I can't hold it any longer, the toilet actually smells a little foul. I am very sensitive to smells, so I can sniff the slightest change in the air particles. Finally, the latch opened and out came the occupant (quite a pretty one too). Quickly rushed in and to my horror, her Body Odour (hereinafter referred as BO) actually masked all other toilet smells in the cubicle. Had to actually hold my breath for the entire time I was in the cubicle. After I was done, just burst out of the toilet gasping for air. How could she have not noticed her rotting armpits??!!!! The smell is disastrous. That smell is totally a guy repellent. Fuuuhhhh. Another reason I guess she didn't shave it for ages. See, not very pleasant to have fuzzy arm pits on a pretty girl. It's all wrong, wrong, wrong! If I could go up to her,I will say Please use deodorant hor..

Encounter 2:

This was after my Sunday mornings dance class. As usual, I would have some people car pool with me. However, this particular person is known to have extreme BO because it always contaminate the air in the dance studio. Let me tell you , it is pungent enough to kill pests within her radius. So, when we got into the car I had to just wind down the windows so that the car will be well ventilated. After driving for a few minutes, I decided to wind up the windows but after a few seconds I had to wind it down again. I was almost choked to death! How could she have the audacity to lift her arms up exposing her armpits to my air con vent! Worst of all she was wearing a sleeveless top. Can you imagine how toxic was the air that was circulating in my car?! Trust me, I almost had foam coming out of my mouth. The armpits, was facing the air con vent directly and being in an enclosed space, air will only circulate within it. I had no choice but to wind my window down and stick my nose out. So I thought she got the hint and put her arms down. Hardly a minute, she put her arms up again and I had to wind the window down again. This continued on for a good 40 minutes. That was the worst 40 minutes ride of my life! There wasn't a next session of car pooling ever again! I just couldn't bring myself to tell her Please Use Deodorant Hor...

Encounter 3:

You know how it is to dance among a jam packed crowd in clubs. Girls are always in their sexiest number, which would almost always be sleeveless. So how do they dance? Yea, by raising their arms. It is deemed to be quite seductive.
I was dancing in a group full of chicks and all of a sudden I detected bad BO. Couldn't identify the source at first and later found out it was from a really nice girl standing quite a distance from me dancing with her hands in the air like she just don't care. After few whiffs, I backed out and when back to my table. I mean like it is normal that the ciggie smoke smell is pretty dominant in clubs. Don't smell anything else except for the smoke. So I guess if someone actually breaks wind, the bad gas is immediately devoured by the surrounding smoke. Well, all except for disgustingly bad BO! This is bad, she became an automatic guy repellent that night. If only her boy friend could just tell her Please Use Deodorant hor.... the clubs would be a much better place to be merry and gay.

Moral of the story: Please do a scratch and sniff test on yourself to make sure that you have or do not have bad BO. If you can tell, reason being that you have been immunized by the toxicity of your own BO. So get an opinion from family members or someone close to you. Once the problem is identified, please drive yourself down to the nearest drug store and ask for a recommendation on deodorants. Do not wait! Take action now.

Please support me in my campaign against Bad BO!

Sidenote : Currently listening to Musiq Soulchild's latest album Luvnmusiq. Good stuff. Highly recommended.

No feel syok, don't wanna do!

2007-03-13T07:39:00.000-07:00

Has anyone read The Star this morning?!! If not , let me educate or FYI you.
Title big big spells out

Abdullah waiting for 'feel good' factor to get even better

When I read further, article was talking about election. Hor, election end of this year hor but don't know when. Prime Minister Abdullah say he syok then announce the date hor.

The General Elections will not be held just yet, not until the “feel good” factor becomes even better, said Barisan Nasional chairman Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

So it means hor, not syok no need election. Then he very secretive one. Very 'yam sap', don't tell you what he wanna do. You poke the sides of his waist also won't divulge one.

Asked if he was ruling out an election this year, the Prime Minister said: “You want to know, I never reveal what I want to do. Cannot, cannot tell you.”

Cannot, cannot tell you. I no syok means no elections la! *sulk*

Hor, like that one hor our country political system. Based on feel syok or not syok. So most of our country investments also based on feel syok or not la. Wahh, die lor like that! Hmmm, 9th Malaysian plan also because he feel syok wanna build more infra.
I thought only I like make decision based on feeelings, didn't know PM also the same..AHAH! Hai, same same, great minds think alike.

Very democratic lor like that. If no syok opposition, don't hold elections so that no need to pressure myself fighting against them. Feel syok when people like your balls then you hold elections so that the rakyat will vote for you hor. Then if rakyat sways a bit to opposition then you sulk and stammer and say NO ELECTIONS!

Screw you opposition! I am the Tai Kor.I can do whatever I want! I no syok means rakyat no chance to elect you!

Please, I hope he don't become like that douche bag lor. Very embarrassing one. Sometimes dunno what he talking, grammar damn powderful, listen until my ears pain pain. Maybe he dunno what he talking also, but he don't care cos he's leading a great nation. Leader of a great nation showing middle finger, I salute.

After reading the article , I was very baffled wor. Har, our PM talks this way wor. How leh, my jaw also drop on the floor. Sound like very shallow hor. Then ar, he always like to deviate from a serious topic lor.

Abdullah said ways the country could develop further include promoting unity, the spirit of muhibbah and religious tolerance.

Talk talk economics, politics, money, crisis, then suddenly must have muhibbah and unity one. Har, me baffled again. Jaw hanging lose already. Every time muhibbah until I damn sien.
I really don't know what to say, you leh?

Oughta Know

2007-03-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

You know you are old when:

1) You have acquired the taste of cilantro. Yup the smelly vege that is used in garnishing steam fish. As age catches, you will grow to like the taste of cilantro in everything.

2) You think celery is the best vege in the world and best taken in its raw form.

3) You crave for asam salted vege with duck.

4) You used to hate kids but now you just wanna hug and talk to kids.

5) You don't run around playing with kids instead you put them on your lap and talk to them.

6) You start nagging at your siblings.

7) Stop going to all the Cafe Flam and Q-Bar and start going to Thai Bar.

8) Look at older men from a different point of view.

9) Stop driving like a maniac and your feet is always on the imaginary brakes when in the passenger seat.

10) You stop wearing cheer leader skirts with sneakers.

11) Start giving advise to younger people.

12) Stop drinking whiskey coke and start drinking Whiskey on the rocks. To appreciate the aroma of the whiskey.

13) You stop dancing at clubs and just sit and drink and be merry.

14) You can't shop without your eyes feeling tired after 2 hours.

15) You start to appreciate fine wine instead of modified cars.

16) You start listening to 80's music even though you hated it when you were younger.

17) You start to disdain 'tau teng', 'mui mui chai' in clubs.

18) You stop dreaming of 2 seater cars and start looking at MPVs and sedans instead.

19) You find that you have a lot to reminisce.

20) All your friends around you are getting married and you are getting invited to every damn wedding dinner.

You know ,you're old. I know, I'm old.

Convent Dim Sum Gathering

2007-03-10T02:35:00.000-08:00

Yup had a gathering with the girls and we were discussing next year's 10th anniversary. The anniversary after leaving school that is. Can't believe it has been 10 years since we were in form 5! I am anticipating a lot of married women and mothers in our gathering.
Company was great, food was so not worth it. Please do not have dim sum at KEC. It is just pure crap.

This is pretty much almost everybody except the few that have left early.
Me, Angela, Joyce and Meera. Hmm, Meera likes to be Oral-ed. I love the t shirt and was disturbing her about it. So I took another pic of her again.

Yea, you can actually hear me saying eyerrr, oral you??!! No way, you're my best friend and I won't do that. Sigh, she's getting married as well.

Another best friend of mine. Luckily she's not getting married. She's a clown. Always making me laugh till my teeth falls out. I still remember she actually passed a piece of sanitary pad around for the class to autograph before she left for Sabah.
Ya, this was what we passed around and we were signing on a Whisper Ultra Thin pad.
So creative.

Tales from the Ladies

2007-03-08T05:57:00.000-08:00

I think it is quite universal that in Asian toilets there exists 2 types of toilet bowl. The regular sitting ones and the squatting ones. You see ,Asians has the ability to squat as if it is their second nature. Asians can squat for a very long time be it waiting for a bus, taxi, train or just lepak-ing. Asians can definitely beat the Caucasians in a squat marathon.

The Asian Squat. The most stable squat.

Caucasian squat. Sure tip over after 10 seconds.

Anyways, almost swayed off topic. My point is that squatting toilet is annoying! I mean like it feels like you are closer to the toilet bowl. Ewwww. And sometimes the toilet is so wet, God knows what the previous person did, I feel like I could slip and fall into the toilet bowl anytime.
And what is with the raised platform to step on by the side. I do not understand what is that for. It doesn't prevent your pee from spraying to the side of your feet. It doesn't give you a stronger foot hold while doing your business. In fact it is most of the time very slippery. And when I step on those stones, I feel like I might just slip down into the bowl...arrgghh! And what's worst, squatting doesn't help in aiming the pee into the bowl. Half of the time it gets to the side of the feet and ewww...its just all wrong wrong wrong! Why do people still use the squatting bowl.

Why don't all the toilets just provide the sitting ones. Oh and I know people have all sorts of ways to tackle the sitting bowl. Since sharing a public seat is deemed unhygienic, ladies have come up with funny ways to minimize contact with the bowl.

1) Lay toilet paper at the sides of the seat.

This is quite common in Western countries where the seat is dry. Some places even provide a toilet seat cover be it manual or automated. That is like the best way instead of laying toilet paper on each sides of the bowl. And if the toilet paper are in squares, that is a lot of squares to lay on the seat. This only works in Western countries where the seats are dry and clean. Doesn't work the same in Asian countries where even the seats are wet and foot prints all over. No point laying toilet papers on wet seats cos you will eventually still sit on a wet seat. Wonder what kinda 'water' is on the seat sometimes.

2) Squat ON the seat

Only TSH's do that ( TSH stands for..... think like me and you can figure it out). Yea man, they will climb up on the seat and squat on the throne. How unmannered is that to squat on the THRONE. It is bad enough to squat by the road side while waiting for the bus what more ON THE THRONE! Arlo, there are cases that the toilet bowl actually cracked and split and I don't wanna go into what happen to the squatter. I think it was an ugly sight. So please do not even attempt to climb on the toilet seat with high heels.

3) The half squat

This is like the ideal and best way to use the seat toilet. The butt will not be in contact with the disgusting toilet seat, and you don't have to risk your life standing on the toilet bowl. Squatting halfway and doing your business is the best way. Trains the thigh muscles very well too. Well, first time it may be a little wobbly to do this stunt, but let me tell you, practice makes perfect.
This method will guarantee that you won't need to hesitate going to a public toilet ever again.

So ladies, if you are still doing number 1) and 2) and haven't discovered that 3) was ever possible, try practicing method 3) at home first. I can tell you the feeling is like the Israelites discovering a land flowing with milk and honey.

Why I never spoke hokkien

2007-03-07T08:05:00.000-08:00

AHah...too crude. But it is good to break tension. Also good to pick a fight with someone.
Ok Another Hokkien video but this time is not Su Su Liam Liam.
Well,not for the innocent, but nothing explicit visually.
Maybe you should have your lunch before watching.

Kalau ada wang aku sayang, takda wang kaninabu balik kampung. hAhah

Discount, discount, sale, sale

2007-03-07T06:04:00.000-08:00

First fashion post!Yes , discount, sales, my favorite. To buy undervalued goods. Feel very syok buying stuff at half price. Why pay premium when you can wait for it to become undervalued.

Sales + Daphne = bestest of friends.

Quite disappointed when I was at Cats Whiskers. Couldn't get my pink and white dress for a wedding dinner. Headed over to Little Black Book, aiyo worst. No doubt stuff are cheap but they are in their own fashion world some how. Nevertheless,still managed to get something. You know the feeling when you walk into a store full of cheap goodies and you just feel guilty walking away without getting anything. That is just the way how we girls feel.
Good thing I didn't whack my credit card.
So these were my buys.

Mandarin collared jacket from Little Black Book. Only 46 bucks. Kinda regret buying it. When will I ever wear it. Can't possibly be in that under the hot sun.

Can never go wrong with a 15 dollar t-shirt. Dirt cheap.

Cats Whiskers. Top was on 40% discount. Good to have tops like that. Doubles as a maternity top.

This top for where else.. haha. Velvet.

Susu Liam LIam

2007-03-06T08:40:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Gary I can't sleep. Been listening to this song over and over again and can't stop laughing.

I remembered when I was a kid, the uncles and aunties (especially from Klang) loves singing this song. Always laughed when it comes to the chorus. What does Su Su Liam Liam means??!! HAHAHA... I'm still laughing now. Su Su Liam Liam ( Sticky Milk?) Y is the milk sticky. Where is the milk from?

Best part about this video is that the girl is so passionate when singing. They even have back up singers!! WAAHHAHA. I can only imagine this song being sung in Gun Choo Night club and Plum Blossom Club.

Stuff people do in cars

2007-03-06T07:40:00.000-08:00

And so, I was stuck in a jam one day. The only way to entertain myself is by singing along to the the radio. Then I realize that I could do people watching as well, just like what I do in clubs! City folks just can't idle. So, here are my observations of the stuff people do in their cars when they are stuck in a jam.

1) Olfactory Clearing
I tell you, this is rampant. I think it is a primal instinct to dig the nose and feel good about yourself. I once saw this guy slowly putting his index finger into his nose and trying to reach the crevices like he is battling with his own nose. Finally pulling his finger out, he rolls the 'excrement' with his fingertips , putting close to his nose and finally I can't see where it went. I suppose it was being flicked into his car. Ewwwww. There was not only one but a few drivers actually doing it. Harlo, your windows are not fully tinted and I can see you!

2) Pore Clearing
What the heck, pore clearing huh. Stuck in a jam again one fine morning. So as usual, I was looking everywhere and something caught my eye in my rear view mirror. A guy with a face like a Famous Amos cookie was kinda scratching a part of his face with his finger tips. After the scratching, he was pinching his face particularly his cheeks. And to my horror, he kinda rolled the 'excrement' with his finger tips before finally putting it close to his nostrils. Ewwwwww.
I guess that's the satisfaction he gets from clearing that bugger out of the pore and then smell the sweet scent of victory.

3) Scalp Cleansing
In other words, profuse scratching of the head. I am thinking that this guy has a severe case of dandruff and he was constantly scratching parts of his scalp. And again, the hands will automatically pass by the nostrils before clearing the dead cells under the nails. Sweet scent of satisfaction I suppose.

4) Scrotum Relieve
No no, I have yet to come across anyone who clears the liquid stored in their scrotum while stuck in a jam. I sure hope I don't have to witness anything like that in KL. My car is reasonably high compared to a wira, what more a lowered wira. Oblivious to the fact that people in an MPV or mini MPV can actually see most of the lower part of his body, this bugger was actually rubbing or scratching his, well, ding dongs! Aiyo, people in a bus can see you clearly la! Must be the excessive pubes causing the itch.

Never knew that getting stuck in a jam can be quite exciting at the same time disgusting. I don't dare to take pics because I might just get bashed up in the middle of the highway. So the next time you are stuck in a jam, try noticing if people really do whatever they can to relieve themselves. I tell you, city folks can't live without multi tasking.

Line Dance Chinese New Year

2007-03-05T06:06:00.000-08:00

Ya man, line dance has evolved. Gone were the days of the cowboy line dance. No more dancing to Good ol' country music. These days we line dance to just about any music! Even Chai Shen Dao the techno version! Aiyo....!
Just attended a Chinese New Year Line dance party and it had a very good turn up. I tell you all the aunties love to dance. So music like Chai Shen Dao definitely thrills them.

So cute..haha. Line dance in Malaysia has become very muhibbah these days. There is even an Indian dance.

If that wasn't enough, they even have a dance to a very popular but hilarious Thai song.

You gotta respect the aunties. Do you know how many dances they have to remember?? Yeah, even the young people can't remember all the dances ( ppl like me). So its physical and mental training.
So the next time when an auntie tell you she's going for Line dance it's not Lion Dance ok?

I don't actually like kids but this chubby girl is just too cheeky that I gotta hug her. OH NO, has my maternal instincts kicked in already?

This girl is only in form 4 but she looks like she's in college. I feel old already :(

Weight Gain....How?

2007-03-02T22:59:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm asking how to gain weight? I've not been losing weight technically ( on the scale) but somehow I look like I've lost quite a fair bit. I know that for a fact because the jeans that I used to wear in US are all loose. My face has no meat at all. I've lost fats in all essential areas.I am dangerously thin. Aiyo.....how la like that.

Ok, ever since I embarked on the corporate world, I became dangerously thin. Ok, well I do cardio like 3 times a week as well which contributes to the fat loss as well.

This is how I used to look like back in US.

Yes my life in Ames was most of the time with Yu May. Guy in the middle is Big Daddy (Big Pun). See I actually had some meat! My face was meaty!
Yea I was so much bigger. I ate like a guy. Always trying to equal the amount of rice that my male housemates have. I intimidate guys in my work place. I used handle a lot of the guy's jobs ie: lifting a tub full of silverware.

The Charlie's Angels in Ames. HAhaha, I can't believe it I was actually fat. For once in my life I was fat!

And now after working for 2 yrs.....

Face became like a foot long Subway sandwich.

Gah!!!! Even skinnier! How man, I look like I bought an oversized pair of jeans. But in fact when I bought it in US, it fits perfectly.

So please tell me how do I gain back some weight. The least I want to is to fit into all my jeans perfectly. I've been trying to eat rice even for lunch but it is not helping. Snacking on New Year cookies also didn't help. Don't tell me to stop dancing cause I just can't forgo that.
Dim gai!! I don't wanna look old that fast.

Stupid is my middle name

2007-03-02T08:44:00.000-08:00

EHheehehe.... Just felt naughty or maybe hope that I can win The Star RM50. This name caught my eye. Mong Kang. I believe it is Hailam . Hailam for stupid. So this is name was on the board of donors of The Royal Selangor Yacht Club. Dun pray pray ok, he donated 5 freaking thousand. Mr Mong Kang is a wealthy person.

Weird Friendster Message

2007-03-01T08:33:00.000-08:00

Weirdos are aplenty in Friendster. Friendster creates Fans and Stalkers. Well, I log into friendster to check out my friends and most of all the new pictures. I mean like who gives a damn reading profiles. People are more interested in pictures. That's why they have increased the quota from 10 to 50 pictures.

Throughout my Friendster membership I have discovered a lot of mutual friends knowing other mutual friends and it really makes the world small. Then sometimes I get some weird ass messages like it is some standard template sent to all the girls in Friendster. Here is one that really got me LMAO.

Hi, Nice to meet you here,I am R****n from PJ(BU), just to say hello here, and get to know you.
Ok very sincere, just wanna drop by say hello and get to know a new friend , NOT. More like Victim!
I do like to know new friend and do like traveling because it's not only widened up my point of view and it brings lots of adventure and excitement in life

You mean getting to know a new friend widens up your point of view of what? And getting to know a new friend brings you lots of adventures and excitement?? I think you meant Sexcitement la. Ahah widened up your point of view, you think like widened a lorong meh.
I also likes sport likes playing badminton, bowling and etc.

You can likes sport but sports cannot likes playing badminton neither can sports likes to bowl.
wow etc, so I guess you play everything. This is like a school essay on Myself.
I am 16 yrs old. I am a boy. I likes making friends to widened my point of view. I likes friends that brings lots of adventure and sexcitement in life. Woo hoo. I likes sports. Sports likes playing badminton and bowling and etc. I like to eat wan tan mee and chicken rice. Every morning my mother take me to pasar to eat wan tan mee. Very nicely one.
I don't like school. I hate my teachers. They force me study but I hate. I only like to look at girls..........................................................

i am a person who eager to gather more information esp lovely things and foods all over the places, looking for someone who can cheer up my life and give funs to my life..To find out more.. keep in touch in future.

SEE! Horny bastard! He loves gathering information of lovely things like?? flowers and Hello Kitty? He is very eager to gather information about food. Arlo, put in another sentence la, your thoughts are all over the place.
This is the best; looking for someoone who can cheer his life and give FUNS to his life. Yea yea lotsa FUNS like sexcitements.
And then he ends it by saying to find out more, keep in touch. WOW, suspense, left me intrigued about him until I have to keep in touch with him to discover more of him. I'm impressed! What the heck man to find out more, it's like selling a drug on TV.

hope everything runs smoothly for u...take care

See, thoughts all over the place again. Yesh, everything will sure run smooth like baby's bottoms for me. OH man, left me laughing rolling around the floor.

HAiyo......if you do meet this person, please be more cautious.

Zouk lor

2007-02-27T07:37:00.000-08:00

Ok Russ, as promised. Things I do to create stalkers and fans for my friends.

Hmm...there are many spirits among us. Should submit this picture to the Paranormal Society for scrutiny.

Awesome Dong Dong Chiang 3

2007-02-26T07:17:00.000-08:00

Chinese New Year is the best time of the year! It is even better than Christmas! Yea because we Chinese have to celebrate 15 days of the New Year! Awesome or wat! And when we usher in the New Year, we make sure it is a big ass celebration, lion dance, fireworks, gambling, food and drinks. Chinese are always the loud crowd and now I know why. Everything we do has got to be better than the latter. As if the clanging of mah jong tiles is not loud enough, we bring in the lion dance troupe with their cymbals and drums, even that is not loud enough and we have to throw in the firecrackers, not even loud enough we throw in the drunkards! It is sure to ward off any evil spirit. No evil spirit in their right mind will dare come close to a drunkard-mahjong playing Chinese. They will be condemned for the rest of eternity just by hearing kaninalaubumacibailanciau uttered by the ever so scary loud-fouled-mouthed Chinese.

Ahh we are really not that bad. Its just that we are more happening when it comes to the festive season. Yes fire and more fire. There is no place more happening than Klang on the 8th day of New Year. Yes, and I live for times like these. At the stroke of 12, the entire neighborhood turns into a war zone. The never ending sound of explosion everywhere. Just got me all so excited. Felt like a kid jumping around excitedly at the sight of fireworks.

Woo hoo and all these happening right at my door step.(few feet away actually) Love it!

Continuing the CNY tradition is a must! Yes I insist that the Convent-ites must always get together during festive season. Best way to catch up and reminisce the old times, not really old but our heydays.

I love CNY cookies. Binge on them almost everyday for the entire 15 days. I could give up meat for these cookies!
You can't take the dong chiang away from me.

A Happening Nerd

2007-02-25T01:27:00.000-08:00

This posting is not for the purpose of disdaining any party.However, should you feel offended in any way, it means you have low self esteem. So Be A Man, Do the Right Thing.

It is quite hilarious to see a nerd in thick geeky glasses and their ever so prim and proper clothings, perfectly swept hair trying to look cool like they should be approached at the clubs. Yes, I have come across a few while I was doing my routine observations of the dancefloor. One of the things I like to do in clubs besides drinking is people watching. No, not looking out for leng chai but just observing the various characters. People watching can be quite entertaining at times.

So, nerds of such do not actually have a chance to get out much and mingle with society as they spend a quarter of their lives making love to their books. Eventually their self image just erode and they lose touch with the world outside books. And so, when one fine day they get an invitation to go club with the guys (normally its just chick fishing) . Going through the closet, there is nothing to wear except for some interview shirts and slacks and leather shoes. Nothing semi casual. Mr Nerd eventually settle on a really colorful polo t shirt deemed to be club worthy.

Ok all cool, got into the club with a bottle of Bacardi Limon.
Lower alcohol content and at a cheaper price. Mr Nerd is a bit overwhelmed at the number of girls in the club. In fact they are not any ordinary girls, they are super Hawt girls all around! Mr Nerd have never seen real life chicks around him except for the ones in his tera-byte- collection of porn. Think William Hung surrounded by a troupe of Hawt cheerleaders.

Mr Nerd then buckles up and tries to blend in with the other cool guys who are getting all the attention. He grabs a stick of Malboro Lights and tries to light it up. This is his first time lighting up a ciggie but it just doesn't seem to burn. Seems easy for everyone else but the Malboro just wouldn't burn. After few tries, he realizes he was lighting up the other end of the ciggie. Ok, hopefuly no one saw it and quickly redeemed himself by drinking half a glass of Bacardi. Puffing ciggie was a way to shed off his nerdy skin. Mr Nerd tries talking to the girls around him while puffing but somehow ciggie ash keeps flicking all over the place and even onto the girl. Bad idea to smoke.

After 2 glasses of Bacardi Limon, Mr Nerd is very tipsy and starts hitting on every chick on the dancefloor. He just can't seem to hold on the A chick because they keep walking away. Who wouldn't walk away from a guy who keeps grinding a girl like a Shaolin on dope. Drinking was excellent and Mr Nerd went on down the Bacardi from the bottle itself. Oh yea, now he is really ONS! Few jumps and grinding and the alcohol finally found its way to take over his super neuron charged brain. Mr Nerd finally sat down and said the drunkard's prayer for a good half an hour. Eventually the Almighty Holy Bacardi Limon manifested itself through purging of liquid through the anterior.

Mr Nerd did not succeed in shedding off his geekiness even by lighting a stick of Malboro and downing Bacardi Limon. Its his first but not his last time to the club. Next time it will be The Revenge of The Nerds!

KLSE Stock Picks - TA, METACOR, DOLMITE

2007-02-24T01:06:00.000-08:00

TA
As for TA I think it is one of the best fundamental stock picks. They should be posting more earnings in the next quarter largely due to Securities firm. Also, CitiGroup has re evaluated their assets and it is said to be worth 2.60 right now. So it is still undervalued at this point. There has been rumors about CIMB buying over TA but not too sure when would that take place. This rumor has been around 2 years ago but at that time, TA was too undervalued to be sold. Most likely the owners of TA would be pushing it up more before it is being devoured by T-Rex-CIMB.

METACOR

Another counter that I have bought a year ago when it was at 0.25. Recently there was some activity and picked it up again at 0.33. Part of the reason is because it has a 19% stake in ACPI. ACPI is a government linked company that produces concrete slabs for the construction of the entire Putra LRT line beams. Recently they have a book order worth 2 bil for the construction of the Penang 2nd link. Since ACPI have moved , it will only be a matter of time that METACORP will move. Since most of the construction stocks, GAMUDA, MUHIBBAH have already moved, I guess METACORP's time will come soon. Asset value of 0.70 , I am willing to place my bet on them.

DOLOMITE

Another construction company that is undervalued at the moment. Sure it is a bleeding company but does the account statement really mean anything? You know, all those dubioius figures. Shall not elaborate more on that. Anywayz, DOLOMITE does granite and also a little property here and there. Bad thing is that they are in debt with a total of 100 mill. Good thing is they have bad debts also worth about 100 mill and another good thing JKR actually owes them 60% of their bad debts. So it's up to you to weigh the risk. Would JKR go bankrupt and fail to pay off their debts? Ahahha, they will damn sure to rake more income tax from us! Steel is up, Timber has also gone up, why not Granite? You need stones to build just about anything. Right now DOLOMITE is worth 0.30. So no harm really to take a risk at 0.30.

Hainan Curry Rice

2007-02-22T23:16:00.000-08:00

This is my first food recommendation entry. Hainan Curry Rice is a rare dish and the first time I tried it was at some back lane stall in Klang. I was so disgusted by the surrounding that I just couldn't swallow my food. Bad experience that was.

The authentic Hainan Curry rice is just rice with curry poured over it served it stewed pork, tauhu and egg. The curry fragrant but not spicy. The way to enjoy the rice is to pour the curry gravy entirely over the rice. Some people like to flood their rice in the gravy.

I actually finished that entire plate of rice. Which means it is REALLY appetizing.

The crispy Sarawak Char Siu is the best in my opinion. Stewed pork and tauhu is just as nice and complements the curry rice very well.

You would guess how much will all these come up to.

Yes! 19.10 for 3 persons! Cheap ain't it.

Awesome dong dong chiang 2

2007-02-21T23:24:00.000-08:00

Just collected Metacor @ 0.305 and Dolmite @ 0.335 a day before CNY. Look at what has become of it.

Metacorp is on a uptrend and looks like it is picking up on volume.

Dolomite looks like it is breaking out. Candlestick shows an Engulfing formation which means it is bullish.

Hopefully my Chai Shen will intervene in these 2 counters as well...hehe.

Awesome dong dong chiang 1

2007-02-21T17:49:00.000-08:00

Couldn't log in the past few days for some stupid reason. Anyway problem fixed by resetting my router, yahoo! This Dong Dong Chiang was great. I learnt how to play 'ngau' or cow. Still quite slow at it sometimes. Brain lags a little when looking for combinations. But not too bad, at least I wasn't on a losing streak. Its just like the stock market, know when to pull out. Never looked forward towards gambling sessions..ahahah. Ok, was bored yesterday and decided to head to Mid Valley assuming that most people will be still on their dong dong chiang holidays.
But NO! I think everyone thinks the same as I do. Half the village is in Mid Valley. Here's the one improvement in Mid Valley though, they have expanded their parking lot to the J section. Its good so that I won't have to take my baseball bat out to claim for parking rights. Oh well, I did that a couple of times without the bat of course. Yea, got into trouble once with an ah lian too..haha! But she was just too inferior for me to argue over petty issues.
Anywayzzz, Mid Valley always come up with the best festive deco. I don't know but I think there should be some award given to the malls for the best festive deco. Everyone seems to be fighting for the non existent throne. I bet the deco at Curve are ALMOST but not as good as Mid Valley's.

This is the basis of their deco. Sakura or Cherry Blossom fans. Looks kinda pretty.

Sakura or Cherry Blossom fans up close.

I just lost my shopping groove. More into my gambling and Mambo Jambo groove. After 3 hours of following my mum around, my bro and I were dead tired and bored.

Staring into the empty space is the initial sign of the Yawn disease

Eyes starts watering, nostrils starts to flare

Kaboom! Contagious.

TA warrant

2007-02-16T00:55:00.000-08:00

The bull has arrived! Well at least I hope it has and will continue charging for the next 5 years before teddy bear comes out from hibernation. The one stock that has kept me stomping my feet, banging my head, hitting the wall is TA warrant.

Look! It's 16th of Feb and in one day it jumped 0.22 cents!!! which is about 30%!!. OMG OMG OMG. The graph is almost 90 degrees!! 2 years ago I thought this will be a dormant counter, so I just dumped my money for 6 lots. 2 years later ..look! It is like a freaking 400% gain!!! And I should've dumped my life savings cause I can get a car by now! Freaking hell. OMG OMG OMG. If i had dumped 60 lots it would be enough to buy a kancil in cash!
I tell you man value buying is always the greatest thing. This is a true 'salt fish' (ham yee) stock. I have a couple of salt fish stocks and I am banking in on the rest to perform like how TA did.

So, it is the safest and sure way of making money. FUndamentals, fundamentals and fundamentals! Very important. No no hearsay! All you need is patience patience and patience and the fruit will bloom into a farm eventually an estate.

Few other salt fish stocks I am looking at is METACOR and DOLMITE. Salt fish now but an estate later.